Do I Wanna Know? || Ashton Irwin

14

The quiet atmosphere of the apartment was haunting. I needed to walk in and hear Ashton running after the twins, all three giggling. I needed to hear Jack waking from his sleep in a fit of cries. But that wasn't the case this time. I entered the apartment and was devoured into a mass of loneliness. The twins were still at school and Luke was keen on keeping Jack for another hour.

I threw my purse and keys on the bed, removing my shoes as well to put them back in my closet. I placed them back in their spot, accidentally scraping my heel on the sharp edge of something below as I stepped down from standing on my tip-toes.

A paper with my name stood out on the shoe box that just hurt my foot. It was Ashton's handwriting! I felt myself getting a little too excited, almost anticipating another scavenger hunt as the one he did a few years ago.

Dear T,

While you were away at work a few days ago I accidentally found some letters while searching for an extra blanket. How convenient that the blankets are put away in Dick's closet! When I sprawled out the blanket, a bunch of unopened envelopes fell out. I thought that was odd. Maybe Dick was hiding some bills from you, maybe Dick was hiding some letters from a long-lost lover of his, but T, I am no long-lost lover of Dick's. Even if I was into guys, Dick would not be my choice of lover. No offense.

These letters go back as far your 20th birthday, T. Then there are a few I sent between 2015 and 2017, I stopped sending them after 2017. I still wrote letters, but I couldn't bring myself to send you the letters anymore if you weren't replying back. But now I know why you weren't writing back, your fiance kept the letters from you.

All of the letters from your 20th birthday up until 2017 are in the shoe box, along with a few letters that I never sent, but kept on me at all times. You don't have to read them, but I want you to keep them. They're yours. Some of them are long, some are short, but they all have meaning to them.

I love you,

Ashton

This was unbelievable. Five years of waiting for a word from Ashton and I had gotten nothing because Dick was hiding everything. If had received these letters so many things would be different right now. To me there was always that one situation that if it would've ended up differently, a few events in my life would've turned out differently. If I had gotten these letters Ana and Jack would've probably still been alive, I wouldn't be engaged to someone who could leave the house without a second thought....

I carefully removed the lid of the shoe box, there was an endless amount of envelopes, some were opened, some hadn't been touched.

November 4, 2014

Talia,

Every day that passes, I hate myself more and I miss you more. It's almost your 20th birthday, I wish I could be there, but Luke says he has everything under control over there. He also says it won't be a good idea to show up on your birthday and surprise you because apparently you've already moved on. Please tell me that isn't true. Actually, it doesn't matter, I shouldn't be selfish. I shouldn't expect you to wait forever for me after what I did.

November 5th gradually approaches and I begin to feel a sense of emptiness, like I was forgetting something. Then one day while I was out buying a gift for my mother it dawned on me that your birthday was going to be soon. I spent a few hours rushing through many stores in a naive state trying to buy you a birthday gift. I expressed that to Michael and Calum and they were upset that I'd done something like that. I had gotten so used to having you around that I haven't exactly grown out of that yet.