Do I Wanna Know? || Ashton Irwin

30

April 5, 2019

Did anyone know what good could come out of your ex wanting to meet up and talk? They always seemed to reach out to you at random when you were doing fine, when your skies were painted that beautiful sky blue color and then suddenly they wanted to have lunch with you. You wanted to turn down the offer, but you knew if you made them feel bad enough they'd end up paying for your meal. And who would turn down a free meal while you were also curious about what your ex had to say?

Significant words or not, you played your cards right and lunch was on the fucker who ruined you.

I sat across from Dick at some restaurant with patio seating. It was not my preference to eat outside because there was always a billion other things to worry about than eating; the wind blew your hair too much; sometimes in your mouth, there were bugs that could land on your food, with bad luck a pigeon would swoop down and take off with some of your food.

I removed my sunglasses to get a better look at Dick, he'd sat staring at me very silently since our drinks were served. Maybe trying to read my emotions behind my sunglasses or trying to study my face because he knew this would be the last time he'd see me. No future wishes to see him were marked in my calendar. So this little lunch meeting would be his only chance to spill his reasons.

"I'd like it if you stopped staring at me."

"Sorry, just trying to construct my words together." He messed with the silverware set on the table, awkwardly tapping the bottom of the knife against the table.

"Why am I even here?" I let out an annoyed sigh.

"I wanted to give you an appropriate apology." An appropriate apology? Where was this the day of the wedding? I would've valued this then.

"What did you do with the ring and the dress?"

"Sold the ring to someone who was willing to pay a good portion of the value and I'm having my mom remove the curse that came with the dress so I can donate it to a beautiful bride who can't afford a dress." I picked at my nails, forming unnatural cuticles. I only picked at my nails to show some disinterest in what he had to say. Curious I was, but curiosity I will not show.

"That's really nice of you." I caught his smile from the corner of my eye. "You've always had such a kind heart."

"I've heard differently the last few days." I smiled, resting my elbows on the table with my poor etiquette. "So begin with your terrible apologies."

"Right." Dick cleared his throat. "Well, first, I want to apologize for putting you through a lot. I don't know how you put up with me most of the time. I want to apologize for slapping you, I had lost my temper and it was almost like I wasn't even controlling myself anymore. I'm sorry for cheating on you again. I'm sorry for being a shitty person to you. It's just I've felt like the second best. Second best to Ashton when it comes to you. No one could ever meet his standards in your eyes. Do you know how hard it is to live up to what Ashton was to you? I always knew that you were comparing me to Ashton, consciously or not, it hurt me and dropped my self-esteem greatly. So the next best thing I could think of was to find someone who could make up for the way you indirectly made me feel. That's where Sarah came in. Sarah holds me on a throne, she never makes me feel like I have to fight for first place with her."

I didn't realize I agreed to lunch to have a conversation on the subject of Sarah.

"Really? You're here to apologize, yet here you are making this about yourself." I scoffed, moving out of the way so the waitress could place my food down. I smiled as a thank you, then returned to Dick. "All I can hear are excuses. Excuses for your actions. No one gives a shit about Sarah. She's holding you on the highest throne because that's what she does. She's building you up so she can bring you right back down. She's not who she claims to be."

I might dislike Dick with all my mass, but I could still save the idiot from making a fool of himself and ending up like Ashton. Dick was still savable, Dick could literally be with anyone else but Sar-actually, I don't know what I was even saying anymore. This grilled chicken might be making me think these thoughts. Dick and Sarah were perfect for each other. Two terrible people like them were meant to be together. This was what fate has been waiting for; Dick and Sarah.

"Are you close to her?" He gave me a quizzical look.

"Not personally of course." I added quickly. "I had a mutual friend with her and lets just say she's currently engaged to said friend. Bet you didn't know that."

"Talia, I go out of my way to come here and apologize to you and you're acting like a brat." He dropped his fork on his plate. Clink. So thankful we were outside so that sound didn't echo the restaurant and bring attention to us. Who really wanted to listen to two almost-married individuals bicker about the devil in human form? "Are you jealous of Sarah?"

"Jealous of Sarah?" I snorted. Jealousy was a misconception. There were valid facts that I knew that could not categorize my feelings towards Sarah as jealousy. "Never. I'm simply giving you a warning."

Clearly, he wasn't worthy of this warning.

"She's not engaged. She wouldn't keep something like that from me." Denial. We'd all been there, maybe not as badly as Dick.

"Don't underestimate what people can and will hide from you." I stood up though not done with lunch. I'd lost any trace of hunger and wanted away from this guy. I slipped my sunglasses back on and hooked my arm through the handles of my handbag. "Now if you don't mind, I have a life to get back to."

Either way, he was paying for my untouched meal now.

Talia mentioned etiquette and it made me think of how my brother told me he's taking an etiquette class and they made him cut a donut with a fork and knife lmao