Anxiety • part 1

3 • tumor

CrystalLeigh: Hey Samantha, I hope you know I meant what I said last night. If you need someone to listen, I'll listen. I don't know if those were old ones or new ones but you're not alone, talking might help even if it's just a little. Stay strong ❤️

I woke up at 11am with that notification on my screen. It's now 11:25am and I'm still staring at the message.

"Hey, I saw the light was on." My mom said when she walked into the room, "mind if I join you?" She asked and I shook my head, she got in bed next to me and just looked at me with a smile.

She's not actually my mom but she came into my life when I was 5, I don't really remember it differently anymore. My actual mom passed away due to complications with my birth. They were about to loose both of us but they got life back into me.

My dad did fall for a younger woman. He was 26 when I was born and she was just 21 when they got together. So she's just 16 years older then me. She only helped my love for medicine grow as she is an actual surgeon herself.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked me and I lifted my shoulders.

"I think I got a lump at my spleen." I said out loud, she looked at me a little worried, and I looked at the ceiling, trying to avoid her look. "I felt it the day before yesterday. I had some pain there and what I felt isn't supposed to be there."

"Sit," she said as she sat up too, I did as she asked and showed her where I felt it. "I don't think it's anything to worry about, but I'm going to work in half an hour so if you want, you can come around 1 when I got my lunch break."

"Or I can just get ready too and come with you all day?" I asked with a stupid smile on my face.

"I will be in and out of surgeries all afternoon, so it's a little hard."

"I could just watch and study. As dad isn't allowing me to actually go to my classes today and tomorrow."

"He doesn't wants you to be 1,5 hour away when there's a chance you'll have another attack." She replied and I understood it. It were theoretical classes so I could easily miss them anyway. "If you can get your ass out of bed and dressed in 25 minutes, you can come with me." She finally said with a sigh.

"I swear I'll just study and watch. Thank you." I replied before hugging her. I forgot the reason why I was going with her for just a second, but I was going to have something to take my mind off things for a little. I got out of bed and pushed her out of the room so I could get dressed. I quickly took my jeans and a shirt before changing. I was ready in 5 minutes so I still had all the time to eat my breakfast. I went through the textbooks I had a home and put two of them in my bag before going to the kitchen. I had gotten the downstairs bedroom which was originally from my parents but because I had trouble with stairs and just walking for a long time, this was easier.

We never switched back and I am very happy about that.

As soon as I unlocked my phone, I saw the notification back on my screen. I had to reply. She had been so nice for me, so I couldn't just ignore it.

DrSam: Thank you for everything you and the others did for me last night. Those were mainly old ones, but I'm struggling with my mind a little recently. I'll remember that and thank you, luckily this dumb page helps a lot to get my thoughts down and think things through, sometimes all you need is to believe someone reads it or listens to you.

CrystalLeigh: I get what you mean, sometimes all you need is a place to write. But if you need someone to actually listen and reply, I'm right here.