The What Happens When Fanboys and Death Note Mix Christmas Special

Joker v Riddler: Dawn of Boredom

*Jay and Silent Bob are wrapping presents. Silent Bob is doing an immaculate job, Jay, well...*

Jay: Man this is bullshirt! I can't forkin' do even one! This is hard!

*the doors to Lucas's office swing open, Lucas, Connor, Ace, Joker, Riddler and Riddlette walk out*

Lucas: Alright everyone stop production! This is temporarily a courtroom, we have a dilemma to solve!

And so

*The place has turned into a courtroom with Lucas as the judge. His beard is still white but he is wearing a judge robe and and a long white wig*

Lucas: *smacks the gavel* Alright, Joker v Riddler is now in session! Plaintiff, state your issue.

Joker: Well, I had just gotten home from teaching Joaquin Phoenix how to do a stellar performance as yours truly for his upcoming movie—which is all about me and comes out next October from DC—and what do I find? He's copying me! He has his own Harley Quinn, some weirdo named "Riddle Chick" or whatever—

Riddler: Objection! It's Riddlette.

Joker: Nobody cares! Anyway, he copied me! She's exactly like Harley, the only difference is she says "Riddle me this!" every once in a while!

Riddlette: Oh don't get yer panties in a knot puddin!

Connor: I know I've seen her somewhere before...

Joker: Listen you knockoff, there's only one lady who's allowed to call me that, and that's my Harley!

Riddlette: Yer just jealous cause I'm better!

Joker: Oh you crazy witch—

Lucas: Order! *smacks gavel three times* Order in the court! ...*smacks it one more time*

Riddler: Your honor, Riddle me this. When you have an unwanted hole, whadaya do? Answer: Ya fill it up! I have had a hole in my heart for quite some time! I desired love. Companionship. I figured, if that psychotic clown can do it, so can I! Then I met Riddlette here at a Kpop concert!

Connor: ...Kpop...

Riddler: We talked, we got coffee, we felt something! And so, here we are.

Joker: Objection! That's the stupidest story I've ever heard! Such a joke! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Riddler: I tell riddles, I don't tell jokes, you circus reject!

Lucas: Order in the court! *smacks gavel a bunch of times. Then grins and points to it* pretty good eh?

Joker: Your honor, the defendant is full of shirts! And why can't I cuss?

Lucas: Magic here doesn't allow swearing.

Joker: Well motherforker.

Riddler: Riddle me this—

Joker: Objection! His riddles suck! They aren't even real riddles, they're just question and answers without the punchline! Tell ya what. I have a get out of jail free card. *pulls out a get out of jail free card from monopoly*do I win?

Lucas: No.

Joker: Well then I'd like to make my closing statement. See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asyl—

Riddlette: It's the flashlight one we've heard it, bird brain!

Connor: That's it enough of this crap! *marches over to Riddlette* I know exactly who this is! *pulls off glasses, it's his friend Jordan*

Crowd: *le gasp!*

*Jury starts talking amongst themselves*

Lucas: Order! *smacks gavel* Order! Order in the court!

Connor: Jordan, what the hell are you doing?

Jordan: I was bored.

Connor: Sounds legit. So you hang around with this turkey? *gestures to Riddler*

Riddler: Riddle me this! How many fingers am I holding up? *gives Connor the bird*

Jordan: Yep I am.

Connor: ...

Jordan: ...

Connor: DEATH NOOGIE! *puts Jordan in a headlock and gives her a noogie*

*everyone laughs*

Lucas: Case dismissed! *smacks gavel*

*Everyone except Jordan, Joker and Riddler on sunglasses*

*Connor and two elves pull out Men in Black flashy thing memory erasers.*

Connor: Time to make them forget about the North Pole. *The two elves flashy thing Joker and Riddler*

Connor: *about to flashy thing Jordan*

Lucas: You know Connor, she IS our friend. We COULD let her stay. I mean, why not? Be part of the team and everything.

Connor: 🤔

Jordan: *grins*

Connor: Nah. *Flashy things Jordan*