The What Happens When Fanboys and Death Note Mix Christmas Special

Jay's Changing

*the workshop is empty, it's early in the morning so the elves haven't arrived yet. Connor walks in, and sees Jay is sitting somewhere looking kind of glum*

Connor: Jay?

Jay: Hey Connor.

Connor: Where's Silent Bob?

Jay: Fat man's on his way. Just taking care of some stuff.

Connor: What's wrong?

Jay: Well, I might as well come clean. Lunchbox and I have still been doing weed all this time.

Connor: Yeah we know.

Jay: Huh?

Connor: Dude you accidentally gave me a weed cookie the other day. I was higher than Snoop Dogg taking a hot air balloon ride. We realized that it was you guys.

Jay: Oh. Well, Holly caught us yesterday and turns out she has a hatred of marijuana so I'm quitting.

Connor: Yeah?

Jay: Yeah. I promised her I'd quit and I'd stop drug dealing. I'd do anything for her.

Connor: Well that's good.

Jay: Yeah. I mean, I had a girl before Holly. Her name was Justice, and it was more of a long distance relationship cause she was in prison for being apart of a jewel heist. Anyway, it didn't work out, and I guess I got out while I did cause she turned into a total forkin thot. I guess she likes to pit old boyfriends against new boyfriends now.

Jay: But Holly, man I love her so much. She's everything I've ever looked for in a woman. She's smart, funny, kind, and beautiful. When I'm with her, I feel levels of happiness that no amount of weed, pot or dank could ever make me feel.

Connor: Those three are all the same thing.

Jay: That's besides the point. The point is, I love her, I'd take a bullet to the brain at point motherforkin' blank for her. I'd do anything for her, so I'm quitting weed and drug dealing.

Connor: That's good to hear!

Jay: Yeah.