The What Happens When Fanboys and Death Note Mix Christmas Special

RIP Silent Bob

*Connor, L, Light, Ravage, Holly and Jay are at the cocoa bar, recovering from the attack of Moose Jaws*

Connor: I don't believe it. That thing got Silent Bob.

L: He was a good man.

Jay: ...

Connor: Jay are you alright? You haven't said a word since the attack.

Jay: ...

Light: He's taking it pretty hard.

Holly: *comforts Jay.* Hey talk to us. Are you alright?

Jay: Alright? You kiddin'? I'm glad the fat boy is gone!

Everyone: ?

Jay: He could be such a pain in the butt! *slowly getting more upset* Ol' lunchbox was a pain to be around, never talking and being all confusing! And when he did all he did was talk about some Amy chick! *His voice is cracking with sadness* Why the fork would I miss him? *tears form in his eyes* It's not like, you know, we've known each other since we were in diapers! Or like we've done everything together! Or *sniffle* like he was always there to keep me in line! Why would I miss him? Huh? I didn't need him! I don't need anybody! I'm fine by mysel—OH SILENT BOB! *slams his head down and starts sobbing*

Jay: I LOVED THE GUY! HE WAS LIKE A BROTHER TO ME! *Continues sobbing*

*Holly gives him a little squeeze*

Connor: *holds up his drink in a toast* To Silent Bob. His death will not be in vain. *They toast*

Connor: *turns to Ravage who is by himself in the corner* You're going to help us catch that moose.

Ravage: You kidding? I'd rather go back to elf jail than cross that thing again.

Connor: *Pulls out MIB neuralizer and throws on sunglasses* YOU ARE GOING TO HELP US, OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL NEURALIZE THE CRAP OUT OF YOU TO THE POINT WHERE YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR OWN NAME! YOU'LL JUST BE STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, A HOMELESS, NAMELESS THING WHO KNOWS ALMOST NOTHING AT ALL NOT EVEN ABOUT HIMSELF, JUST ROAMING AROUND WITH NOWHERE TO GO, NO ONE TO GO HOME TO, NOTHING. I WILL DO THAT RIGHT NOW, RIGHT HERE

Ravage: Ok ok ok I'll help.

Connor: Good. Let's get going.

*They leave*