༗ intro

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I was greeted by a music and people when I entered my friend's house. I looked around to find her. Actually, I'm really late at her engagement party because I did something important kaya humabol lang ako para hindi siya magtampo.

Buhay na buhay ang bahay nila because of the lights and the decorations. Napangiti ako nang makita ko si Melanie na nakaupo sa isang table, katabi ang fiancé niya. I almost run toward her. I am really happy for my friend.

"Congrats, girl!" I giggled happily.

"Thankyou! Sana ikaw rin, malapit na," she smirked.

Ako na lang ang wala pang boyfriend sa circle of friends kaya nga ang dami na nilang nareto sa akin. Well, I'm still not yet ready for everything. After my heartbreak from that fcking idiot, hindi muna ako pumasok sa isang relasyon. The man that I am talking about was my third boyfriend but he gave a big impact to me. Hinulog niya ako nang husto sa kan'ya kaya ang hirap makaahon.

"Ayaw ko pa," I smiled.

"Ayaw? For God's sake, Vena, you're already 25! Puwede ka nang mag-asawa or kahit boyfriend man lang," natatawang saad niya.

"Duh," I rolled my eyes. "I can live without them, without boys."

"Yeah, you can live not experiencing the sex!" She blunted out.

Napatingin ako sa buong paligid. Buti walang nakarinig sa sinabi niya. Hindi niya alam, we had sex with my third boyfriend kahit na bawal!

"Shut the hell up, Melanie. You're too noisy."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Lahat kasi kami may jowa, e ikaw?" She laughed loudly.

Umirap lang ako at hinanap ang table nina Devi. Nagpaalam ako kay Melanie kasi aasarin lang niya ako buong party niya. So when I found their table, napa-facepalm lang ako. Lahat sila may partner tapos nagka-cuddle pa. Yuck, ang lalandi talaga nitong mga 'to.

Hindi na lang ako tumuloy because I know they will tease the hell out of me, o baka nga ibugaw pa ako sa kahit kanino. So I waited na matapos ang party at nagpaalam sa mga kaibigan ko.

At least, they're all happy and they have a healthy relationship with someone that they love.

Gabi na nang marating ko ang bahay. I tied up my hair before entering our house. Silence and awkward atmosphere greeted me. I looked around to find Mom and there, I smiled genuinely when I saw her sitting on the couch. I kissed her both cheeks and hugged her.

She pushed me. Tinitigan niya ako nang mabuti. I know this look of my Mom. She's mad. Ohmygod, did I do something wrong?

"What is this, Vena?" Mommy asked me. Her voice was cold as ice.

I can't speak when I saw the yellow flashdrive that I hid for a long time. She's gripping the flashdrive na ginawa ko ang lahat para hindi 'yon makita ng kahit sino, lalo na si Mommy or si Daddy kaya paano 'yon nahanap ni Mommy?

"Where did you get that?" My lips shiver.

"That is not important anymore! What is this, Vena?!" She roared.

"Mommy, it was long time ago," kalmado kong sagot. "Wala na po 'yon so please h'wag niyo na po isipin."

"H'wag isipin?! Huwag?! Mas'yadong traditional ang pamilya natin!" Galit na galit na sigaw niya.

"Mommy, please no," pakiusap ko dahil alam ko na ang sasabihin niya.

"And why did you let him fuck you?"

"B-because I gave everything that he wants. B-baka iwan niya po ako kapag hindi ko binigay, Mommy." Saad ko. "I know na stupid ako, Mommy, kaya please, Mommy, h'wag na po."

"No! That's not the right love! It's all bullshit! Ano'ng hindi ka mamahalin kapag hindi mo binigay?! He could wait for that, Vena! Bakit ka bumigay agad?!"

"I know, Mom, kaya hayaan na po natin."

"No, Venus. Walang hahayaan." Wika niya. "Alam mo na sa pamilya natin, kailangan ingatan ang virginity ng babae. Naniniwala ang pamilya natin na ang virginity natin ay para lang sa asawa natin!"

Napayuko ako. Napaatras ako dahil sa panghihina. I know, I know that this would be the consequence after I did that with that fucking jerk kaya nga ginawa ko ang lahat para matago 'yon.

Hindi ko naman maitapon dahil baka may makapulot tapos ikalat pa. Edi mas nakakahiya at baka mapalayas ako ng mga magulang ko.

"Alam mo ibig sabihin no'n? Sa asawa lang natin dapat isuko 'to but you chose to gave it up to the someone na iniwan ka!"

"I'm sorry," I said, sobbing.

"No, you will marry this boy, Vena. You will marry him!"

"No, Mommy! I don't want to marry that jerk, Mommy! I don't want!"

"The virginity of a woman is the best gift for his husband and you just gave your virginity to him!" Our house was filled with her yells. "That means, you want him to be your husband!"

"No, mommy,"

"No rin! You will marry this man! You can't do anything about this. Face the consequence. Inaayos na namin ng Daddy mo ang lahat," mariing utas niya bago ako iwan.

Napaupo ako at umiyak sa couch. I can't. Fuck, ayaw ko pang matali. Ayaw ko pang makasal lalo na kung doon lang sa lalaking 'yon. Tangina, ayaw ko pa. Bakit ba kasi hindi ko naisip na itigil ang ginagawa namin noon kung alam kong ganito ang magiging kahihinatnatan ko?

The yellow flashdrive contains a sex video. My sex video with the man that I begged just to stay with me. I did everything para hindi niya ako iwan but he chose to leave me hanging! In just a snap, pakakasalan ko 'yon? Damn, I already moved on! Bakit kasi nakita pa nina Mommy?!

And that's the time I regret everything. I regret giving myself easily. I regret not listening to my parents. I regret planning my life with him. I regret loving him– everything. I regret everything.

Also, that is the reason why I was forced to marry him. I have to marry Fabian Sawyer Guerrero because of my stupid acts.

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