To Catch A Dream (Architect Series #1)

❛ thirty ❜

It was a perfect day... for them, but for me, I am still confuse about my feelings. I don't know if I am happy or sad, excited or not knowing that today is my wedding with the man... that I loved.

Wearing a grandiose gown, a light make-up, with my parents over there, watching me with their teary eyes. I can say that... I couldn't ask for more if marrying Fabian can make them happy. I know that they're just concern for my future, kaya sa abot ng kanilang makakaya, mas pinabilis ang aming kasal.

The truth is, I don't really have a plan about having a husband. I am already contented with my parents, friends beside me, the power, and the money. Being a successful woman is already enough for me. But is it really enough... if I'm not happy? If there's always a missing piece in my heart?

"Thankyou for always being there, Venus. For fighting for me even if I don't deserve it," he said his vows.

I let out a small laugh. Really, huh? Really? Are you doing that again because it was your mother's order? I laughed bitterly. Nakakatawa na ang lahat ng tao rito ay nabubulag. Akala nila kaya kami nagpakasal, dahil mahal namin ang isa't-isa. They didn't know that I was forced to marry him.

"I want to be with you everyday, to sneak up from behind you and grab you by the waistline, and tell you that I am very proud of you because you are a strong woman despite of all the pains, heartache, headache, tears that I gave you." He said in a low voice. "I just want to hug you from the back and slowly guide you back towards... me," his voice cracked.

A tear fell from his eyes but it didn't affect me. Binalot ako ng takot, ng galit, habang nakikinig sa kan'yang mga salita. Scripted ba 'to? Kinabisado niya ba kagabi ang kailangan niyang sabihin sa akin dahil sabi ng Mommy niya?

The pain from the past that I get through was still haunting me after seeing him again. Lahat ng pagmamakaawa ko, lahat ng iyak ko, ng pag-inom ko gabi-gabi, 'yong tipong naiwala ko ang sarili ko dahil sa pagmamahal sa kan'ya, lahat 'yon nanumbalik sa akin hababang nakatingin sa mga mata niyang kanina pa lumuluha.

"From now on, I assure you, Venus Arleth Ocampo, that I will never leave you again. I may be an asshole, a jerk, but this jerk loves you wholeheartedly, this asshole loves you so much. . ."

I looked very solemn in front of him, in front of everyone, for them to know that I am really not happy marrying this man. I may be an arrogant but this was all because of him. If he didn't let me feel that I was worthless, hindi magiging ganito ang magiging kalalabasan. But yeah, baka nga ganito ay dahil hindi ko siya buong napapatawad... at hindi pa ako nakaka-move-on.

I could still remember our first kiss. The day he challenged me. It was just a peck but I felt those feelings that I have never felt before. Gano'n na lang talaga ako siguro kabaliw noon sa kan'ya. And now, our kiss right now is different. Kahit na sinabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako tutugon, my lips and emotion were really a traitors.

My knees tremble as I stared at him. Parang ang tagal niyang hinintay 'to. Parang ang tagal niyang hinintay na mahagkan akong muli. Parang kinukurot ang puso ko nang maalala ko ang mga sinabi niya kanina. Nasasaktan ako dahil sa iniisip ko na inutusan lang siya ng Mommy niya, na lahat ng ito ay hindi niya gusto, na sumusunod lang siya dahil gano'n niya kamahal si Tita Fiona.

I cried, not because of happiness but because of regrets. I regret giving him my virginity.

Gano'n ang naging takbo ng aming kasal. Pumalakpak ang mga bisita, niyakap ako nang mahigpit ng mga kaibigan ko, lalo na ang mga magulang ko. Hindi pa rin sila makapaniwala na kasal na ako at mapapalitan na ang aking apelyedo. Kahit na nanghihina ay nakihalubilo pa rin ako sa mga bisita at pilit na ngumiti sa kanila.