To Catch A Dream (Architect Series #1)

❛ twenty-three ❜

I'm slowly losing him. I am slowly losing it. It is still blur to me. Of course, I am not that stupid that's why I know what's going on between us! I tried to understand him but he, himself, is avoiding me. Hindi man lang niya ako inalala, hindi man lang siya nagtanong, in short, he ghosted me.

He didn't even apologize for the things that he did last time. And now, I am planning to pay him a visit in his condo. I was busy for one week, and in that one week, hindi siya nagparamdam. Walang araw na hindi ko hawak ang phone ko para abangan ang mga texts niya.

Baka ngayon, ayos na. Baka ngayon, puwede na. Baka ngayon, ipaglaban na niya ako.

I tipped my chin as I high as I could as if I won a game. I had a sleepless nights in that one week but it was not obvious because I am glowing. Siguro, kapag hindi mo mas'yadong iisipin ang mga gano'ng bagay, hindi ka agad papangit, and I want to maintain my beautiful face.

To: Bella

i'm going somewhere. i'm sorry, i have to ditch the all of ya

Inaya nila akong mag-mall to make me forget Fabian temporarily. Inis na inis sila kay Fabian, akala mo sila 'yong nagawan ng mali.

I slowly opened his condo's door and Fabian came out from kitchen. He looks shock seeing me in his condo. He looks wasted and it looks like he didn't sleep for a couple of weeks.

He's holding a can of beer. He shook the can a few more times before throwing it on the ground. The loud crack of can echoed and I recoiled in horror.

"What the fvck are you doing here, Vena?" He strongly said. "I said, I don't need you here anymore."

"At bakit? Ano? Gano'n na lang 'yon? Mang-iiwan ka nang gano'n-gano'n lang? What did I do? Ano ba'ng ginawa kong masama? It was just a feud between our parents, bakit nadamay tayo?" I find it difficult to breathe while looking straightly at his orbs.

"What are you saying, Vena?  Ang layo na ng sinasabi mo. Ang sabi ko lang kanina, hindi kita kailangan dito," he averted his gaze.

"Huh? Why, Fabian?! Bakit, ano'ng mali? Bakit bawal ako rito?! Bakit hindi mo ako kailangan dito?!"

"Because I don't need a loud people like you here in my condo. I am studying, Vena. Lagi mong iniistorbo ang pag-aaral ko, so please, can I have my break now?"

"Akala mo ba ayos lang sa akin 'yong iwan mo ako sa mall na 'yon? Na magkaaway tayo? Sinubukan kong makipag-ayos! Sinubukan kong mag-effort pero nabuhos lang sa wala!" I laughed bitterly.

"Did I ask for your efforts, Vena?" He tried to step back. "Please don't be full of yourself, Vena. To be honest, I don't need your efforts. I can do it by my own. Bakit pa kita kakailanganin?"

I am in the verge of tears. I felt a pang in my chest as I slowly walked toward him. He made a gesture of stop but I didn't stop.

Bakit hindi ko man lang napaghandaan 'to? Bakit biglang naging ganito? Ano ba'ng ginawa kong mali?

"Tell me, Fabian! What did I do? Ano'ng ginawa ko sa 'yo para gan'yanin mo ako?!"

"Wala naman. Kung hindi ka pumunta rito, hindi mo mararamdaman 'yan," lumamig ang kan'yang boses.

I stopped in front of him but he can't look straightly into my eyes. Ramdam ko ang basa sa gilid ng aking mga ngunit hindi ko na ito inalintana pa. Ang gusto ko lang malaman ay paano naging ganito? Bakit nagising ako na ganito na ang lahat?