lavender dreams

26

Harry sat down next to Louis, anxiety rushing through his body at the emptiness in his boyfriend's eyes. It was cold out but Harry ignored the numbness in favor of gazing at the small man who held his heart. "Blue?" He whispers quietly, folding his hands together. "What are you doing out here?"

"I couldn't be there anymore." Louis confesses, tilting his head to look back up at the sky. "She was making me so angry that I didn't want to hit her so I left. I needed to think and get my thoughts together, so much happened within a span of ten minutes and I didn't want to do or say anything impulsively."

Harry bit down onto his lip and tightened his clasped hands, gulping quietly. "Have you—were you able to think long enough?" He asks softly, eyes searching the side profile of his boyfriend. "Do you need more time?"

"No, I already know what I want to do." He says truthfully, shifting his gaze to Harry's. He sees the nervous look on his face and tilts his head to the side. "Why didn't you tell me about the kiss directly after it happened?"

"I was going to tell you today. That's why I asked you to come to my dorm so we can talk, I planned on telling you. Yesterday it.. it just slipped my mind because I was so happy that you forgave me and I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you right away. It was dumb but I really did plan on telling you today, I didn't want to keep secrets from you."

Louis presses his lips together and examines Harry's facial expression, seeing nothing but honesty in those emerald gems. "Do you still love her?" He asks, his stomach flipping at the thought. "Do you still love Astrid?"

"Baby no, I don't." Harry sits up straighter and moves to reach his hand out to touch Louis' but the smaller man pulls back. He keeps his hand out, eyes remaining locked with Louis'. "The last few weeks have been so confusing for me emotionally because Astrid was manipulating my feelings and I was too dumb to realize it. But I always knew that I loved you, through everything it's been you. I don't love her anymore, not as a girlfriend and now not as a friend. I didn't see how toxic she was until you came into my life."

"It's my fault she's like that." Louis whispers as he stares into Harry's eyes. "I caused her to behave this way because I stole her boyfriend."

"No." Harry fiercely shakes his head and clenched his hands into fists. "You didn't do anything. Astrid and I were having issues way before I met you. We just weren't right for each other anymore but we both were holding on to each other because of the years we spent together. We were comfortable and we were scared to start over." Harry closes his eyes as he tries to calm down, exhaling softly.

"Astrid and I were never meant to work out and I see that now, baby. I was meant to be with you," Green eyes flicker open to look into cerulean blue, "My life began and ended the day I met you. You are it for me, that's the truth. I love you Louis and I was drawn to you since the beginning when I saw you fall into that stupid recycling bin. I knew even then that you were someone I was never going to get rid of and I welcome that thought with nothing but love,"

"No matter what people try to do or what obstacles get in the way of our relationship, I will always love you. I don't want anyone else but you in my life. So no, I don't love Astrid anymore. My heart and soul belongs to you as cliche as that sounds."

Louis sniffles and wipes the small tears that threaten to spill, closing his eyes to try and get his emotions together. "I'm so tired of people getting in between us. I just want to be with you and be happy. I don't care about the stupid kiss anymore, I knew you couldn't have wanted it because of the amount of disgust I saw as soon as you looked at her. It's been so hard, baby, I'm at my limit and I don't know—I just..."

He breaks off into a sob which makes Harry immediately wrap him into his arms. He cried unashamed into the chest of his boyfriend, feeling Harry tremble against him. "Oh blue." He breathed, his heart breaking into pieces at how vulnerable his boyfriend was right now. "I promise you nothing will get in between us. We're too strong and I love you too fucking much. We can do this baby, we can make this work. Just please... please don't give up on us."

Louis continues to cry as Harry begs him, their arms wrapped so tightly around one another that they melted as one unit. "I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. I'll sell my arm and leg if it meant keeping you by my side. Please Louis, don't leave me. I need you."

Harry felt small hands slide into his hair before lips pressed against his. He responded back instantly, cupping the sides of Louis' face as he deepened the kiss. Louis pulled him closer despite the coldness surrounding him and poured his heart into the intimate gesture. The only warmth they got was from each other and that was all they needed.

Louis slowly pulls away from the kiss, panting as white smoke emitted from his mouth due to the cold. "I'm not leaving you, I told you before I never would. It took so long to make you mine and I'm not about to give you up, you're my boyfriend and it's staying like that. Fuck everyone else."

***

Louis giggles at the joke Harry whispered to him, pressing his face into his side. "It's not that funny." Louis teases him causing Harry to scoff, his fingers digging into Louis' side. The older male squeals and pushes away from his boyfriend, eyes shining in amusement.

"You're rude, did you know that?"

"You still love me."

"Maybe." Harry grins and he pushes his door open. He holds his arm out to stop Louis from walking forward, remembering the glass Astrid shattered. "Be careful babe, she threw a candle at me and there's glass everywhere. Let me clean this up first." Harry tells Louis who peeks over his arm to look at the shards of glass on the ground.

"She threw a candle at you? Why didn't you tell me about that?" Louis asks as Harry grabs the broom and dustpan, sweeping the mess into a small pile. "Did it hit you? Are you okay? Harry, you should have told me this, that's not right of—"

"Blue it's okay. I'm okay, don't worry. It didn't hit me because I ducked and I kicked her ass out. I don't want you to think about her anymore, she's done and over with." Harry assures him as he sweeps the glass into the dustpan, walking over to the trash can. He dumps it into the bin before putting the cleaning tools down. "Okay, you can come in now."

Louis carefully stepped inside and grabbed Harry's hand when it was held out to him. He allowed his boyfriend to lead him to the bed and they both sat on it, Harry leaning against the wall. Louis squeezed himself in between Harry's legs so they were back to chest. Large hands engulf small ones as Harry entwines their fingers together. It's silent for a few moments as both men try to take in the events of the day.

"Do you think we'll be okay?" Louis whispers softly, eyes watching the arm of the clock slowly move. He feels lips press to his temple and he feels the curl of a smile. Harry inhales slowly, basking in the lavender scent that Louis adapted from him. It was a lavender dream.

"Yes we will."