In The Dark

31. I love you

*2 months later*

I hummed to the melodic song playing through my earphones as I quietly sipped my coffee, staring at the beautiful sky meshed with pink, orange and purple. I could vaguely hear birds chirping over the song playing from my iPod as I mindlessly roamed my eyes over the scenery and sighed. I don't think anyone was up except for me, for obvious reasons, it was 4 in the morning. I couldn't sleep, again. Things had gotten significantly better in the past two months, Troy returned home 6 weeks back. When he settled down, he and I had a long conversation about the past events and we sorted out our differences and cleared the air between us. We were back to how we used to be before, bickering and humorous with each other but, closer than ever.

He also made it a point to apologize to all my friends so he gathered them all up and separately sorted things out. It almost feels as if he was a part of the group since the start. After one get together, Nat and Aiden too became friends with them and so, the gathering sort of became a weekly thing. Sometimes, it'd just be us watching a movie or going bowling together but it was fun nonetheless. It was amazing but not perfect. He was missing. The group didn't feel complete without him, just like my heart. Alex's bromance, Lucas always being warned and Valentina's constant efforts to sail her ship, it was all absent because he wasn't there.

The group including my siblings and Aiden always seemed to try and distract me from his absence, almost as though preventing me to even think about him not being here, I appreciated their efforts but the only thing that could make me feel better was him.

I delicately traced the rim of my baby blue cup with the hot coffee inside of it with its aroma tickling my nostrils. I kept humming to myself, not noticing the presence of another person. I snapped my head to the left upon hearing a clink only to see Troy leaning over the balcony railing with his own mug of hot cocoa. He offered me a warm smile and I smiled back, turning my head back to the beautiful sunrise happening before my eyes.

"You're doing a great job, you know," Troy murmured beside me, looking straight ahead into the horizon. I furrowed my brown in confusion, "What do you mean by that?"

I had now taken of my earplugs and was looking at him patiently, expecting a response to my question. "The way you hide your pain, it really amazes me how no one notices how you're hurting and thinks you've moved on."

I shrugged, pursed my lips and stared at the side of his face, "Well, I clearly am not doing a good job hiding it if you can figure it out." He chuckled at that and turned to face me, "I've known you ever since you were born, I have seen you train and practice to master this trick of unaffectedness. I know it's not the real you, Kiara. And that's okay."

I sighed and looked back towards the sky, the wind grazing my face, "I can't help it, I love him and I miss him. He's been gone for far too long, without even letting us know if he's okay. It hurts and I just can't get it to stop. Not that I want to forget him."

Troy sipped from his mug as he heard me pour my heart out, a familiar burn in my eyes and pain in my chest. "He'll come back to you."

I just chuckled humourlessly and shook my head, "He hasn't even contacted us for almost a year, what makes you so sure he will now? I am not going to lie, I am slowly but surely losing hope. What if he found someone better wherever he'd run off to? He's never going to come back, not to me."

I felt Troy grabbing my shoulders and turning me towards him, "Hey! Look at me, don't say that okay? He won't do that. He's crazy for you and if he isn't, he is an asshole. But, I have seen the love and admiration in his eyes and trust me when I say this, eyes don't lie."

I nod at his words and engulf him into a hug before he leaves. As he is halfway through the door he mumbled something making me chuckle, "That's how I found out about you hurting."