I woke up early with some pains and I keep in my sobs from the pain and just stare at my baby and my used to be lil baby. Handro is all snuggled to the baby while grabbing my waist. I was gonna push him away earlier but I still loved him and I knew this was the only way to stay close.
Atiya begins moving around and she opens her eyes while her lip begins to tremble and I grab her immediately not wanting her to wake up Handro. I then begin feeding her some milk while I didn't notice she woke up Handro by yanking his hair.
"Ugh let go my hair" Handro groans and I look to see Atiya grabbing his hair and I pull her hand away as she smiles huge. This baby is something.
"o ooooooo my gosh sorry" Handro then covers his eye and I realize my boob was kinda showing.
I then cover myself a bit and Handro moves his hand and sits up looking down awkwardly.
"Sorry" I laugh lightly and he nods.
Atiya then begins pushing me away kind of and I look down confused and I help her back up and she then scratches her face whining. I pull her hands down sighing.
"Give me her I got it" Geesy says shushing her while she continues on crying and he then opens her diaper showing it was actually full of pee.
After her being change she falls asleep in Handro embrace. I think of letting him know of the tumor but seeing him smile I rather not wipe it away.
"Whats on your mind" he says breaking the silence.
"A lot" I plainly answer.
He sighs and just puts his earbuds in and the doctors come in to give me my medicine and I curse myself and them because Handro is going to be confused on why I have medicine that isn't for a pregnant women.
I then turn to see his eyes are close so I take the medicine cup and shoo the doctors away quickly. I take all my medicines and drink water before he can see them. I then eat the little food they left for me knowing I should've ate before.
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5:45pm
Handro and Atiya were taking a nap while I layed next to them watching. Handro wiggles around mumbling things while sweating a lot so I decide on waking him up.
Before I do he mumbles "don't go don't go Hen-" he then stops and a tear falls.
I stay seated staring at him while my hearts aches.
It's for the best
It's for the best
SNAP OUT IF IT
By now my eyes were pouring and I slowly get up to go to the restroom letting my sobs escape. He's all I ever wanted, he's all I had but why did I push him away?
