Accept yourself (ageplay)

Chapter Nineteen {it's beginning}

Dinah's point of view:
I walk into the doctors office and take a deep breath. It had been a week since the incident and in all honesty I wanted to be home if we ever did this. But we're not.

Ally, Lauren, and I all talked (even though there were many tears) and we decided it would be best if I breastfed Ally.

I walk to the front desk and say "I'm here for an appointment. Dinah Jane Hansen"? The doctor looks up at me and says "take a seat and we'll get you in as soon as possible".

I nod and take a deep breath. I sit down and a few minutes later the doctor calls me back. She says "Dinah Jane...It's nice to see you again". I nod and say "nice to see you to". She says "so, your little girls doctor called me, knowing I am a professional in ageplay".

I nod and she continues. She then says "so can you explain to me what's going on"? I nod and say "so Ally, my youngest is wanting to breastfed...And I was wondering if that would be possible"?

The doctor nods and says "of course it would. We have 2 different ways you could do it, taking pills, and/ or wait a little while until Ally can latch on and you guys could slowly go into it".

I sigh and say "what would be better since we are on tour"? The doctor says "definitely pills, since Ally won't be as attached to you". I nod slowly and she says "and the side effects are aching, slow breathing, and many emotions".

I say "okay". She says "and you need to be patient and just let her latch on. It may take some time but it'll be worth it".

I say "O-Okay". The doctor takes my hand and says "it'll be okay Dinah". I nod and she says "i'll prescribe these to a pharmacy so you can pick them up". I nod and she shakes my hand and says "it was nice meeting you hunny".

I nod and say "nice meeting you to". I walk out of the room and to my car. I get in and shut the door. My eyes fill with tears and I quickly drive to the hotel. I get out and ignore paparazzi. I walk to the hotel room and Demi and Lauren are in the room playing with the girls. Lauren looks up and she walks over.

She grabs my hand and pulls me outside. She says "what's wrong"? I say "I just want to go home Lo". I start to cry into her chest and she holds me close while I play with her hair. A few minutes later I pull apart and she says "hey, why do you want to go home"?

I say "cause I like OUR house and I just don't think we should breastfeed while on tour". Lauren says "well babe...I can do it if you really want". I say "no...I just am done". Lauren says "okay. Okay. Just take deep breaths babe". She hugs me again and says "Mila wants to see you".

I smile and she says "let's go". She grabs my hand and we walk into the hotel room. I see toys everywhere and I chuckle. We shut the door and Camila runs over. She  jumps onto me and I chuckle. I say "hi mamas". She says "hi mommy".

I say "what're you playing with baby"? She says "my baby". I smile and place her on the ground. I sit down and Ally climbs into my lap. She was just in a onesie, had a pacifier in her mouth, and was feeding her baby a plastic bottle.

I smile and kiss her forehead. She cuddles into me and puts her hand on my boob. I laugh and say "no yet baby". She says "mama mi'ky". I smile and hug her. Yup, I definitely wanted to do this now.

***

As nighttime falls around...I was done. My breasts hurt and I just wanted it to be over. Demi was sleeping with Camila and Normani in one room so that Lauren could help me. I lay on my bed and sigh.

My whole body ached. I turn on some tv and put a wet cold rag behind my neck. Ally climbs onto my lap and says "no c'y mama". She wipes the tear off my face, and I smile. I say "i'm not baby". She sits in my lap and grips my finger.