My Parents are Gay

Definitely Not Skipping

Narrator's POV

Beep Beep Beep Be-

Tony knocked the alarm clock off his night stand. He was already awake, had been for the past three days. He sat up, groaning. He stretched as usual, and put on his slippers. He went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror.

"Another day, another dollar." He said and walked out. He walked into the kitchen. McDonald's wrappers and cups rested on the counter. Pizza boxes were flowing out of the trash can. Half drank and empty soda cans spilled from a black trash bag hanging from on of the cabinets below the kitchen counter. Peter came down shortly after him.

"Good morning Mr. Stark." He yawned.

"Mornin kid." Tony bent down and looked down in the fridge. The light flickered. He tapped it and it stopped its flickering.

"Any word from Dr. Strange?" Peter asked, sitting at the counter.

"Not even a syllable." Tony answered. He looked in the freezer.

"Whatever the problem was, must've been quite the big one." Peter said.

"How does tater tots with pickles and orange juice sound?" Tony asked, still looking into the freezer.

"Anything in the pantry?" Asked Peter. Tony went over to it. There was only a box of oyster crackers in it. "Oh." Peter groaned.

"Looks like we're going grocery shopping." Tony said, closing the pantry door.

"Wait, I have school." Peter said.

"No, you're sick." Tony raised a brow at Peter. Peter smiled.

///0///0

"Welcome to Walmart." Greeted a woman at the entrance of the Walmart store.

"Yeah, you too." Tony said. "Alright Peter get in the cart. I want to get this over with as fast as possible."

"Uh, Mr. Stark I can't get in the cart." Peter said.

"Sure you can. It's even got a seat belt for you not to fall out of." Tony pointed out.

"But it says right here this is for children under the age of six-"

"Just get in the damn cart." Tony sighed.

///0///0

"Woo-hoo!" Peter laughed as Tony pushed him in the cart around the isles. Tony was using small jets to push the cart while he was somewhere else around the store getting more stuff. Peter reached his hand out and snatched cereal off a shelf as he continued his way around the isle. "Okay Mr. Stark. I got the cereal." Peter said into a walkie talkie.

"Okay. Now we need bread." Came Tony's voice.

"Alright, those are on isle 12." Peter said into the walkie talkie. "Keep going, keeping going, keep going." Peter said, Tony increased the speed to get there faster. Peter was having so much fun, he didn't realize he almost missed the isle. "Hard right. Right! RIGHT!" The cart took a very hard right, hitting some shelves and knocking over some glass containers.

"Kid, what was that? Was it expensive? It sounded expensive." Tony's voice came from the walkie talkie.

"Just about 8 glass containers." Peter said into the walkie talkie, looking up at people who were staring at him.

"Alright. Nothing too serious. Now let's get this bread." Tony said. "Did I do it right?" Asked Tony.

"You did great." Peter glowed with pride as the last few days he'd spent explaining and teaching pop culture references to Tony finally paid off. He completely forgot about the people who were staring at him. "Uh, I'll pay for that." He said and the cart started to slowly disappear into the isle. He got the bread. "I have acquired the bread." Peter said.

"Alright, that was the last thing on the list. I'll see you at the check out line." Tony said. The cart began to zoom through isles and to the check out line.

"Whoa! Hold up." Peter said, the cart jerked to a stop.

"What?" Tony asked.

"Mr. Stark have you ever had a zebra cake?"

"No. We don't have time for this Peter. There's an old woman about to win the last unoccupied register."

"Mr. Stark it's the last one. And you haven't lived until you've tried one of these." Peter said, grabbing the box off the shelf.

"Fine. Take it." The cart began to zoom to the register, meeting Tony. "Bout time. I had to buy like 4 packs of gum just to at least stay here." He said, starting to put the groceries through the conveyor belt.

"Trust me, these zebra cakes are defiantly worth it." Peter said.

///0///0

"And that right there Mr. Stark, is Squidward." Peter said pointing at the famous cartoon character.

"Mmm." Tony said as he chewed some popcorn.

They were both sitting on the couch with a blanket in front of the television. It was dark outside already, and the glow of the tv was the only light on in the house. There were snacks all around the two. Caprisun juice boxes laid all around them. The quickly finished Zebra Cake box sat beside Tony. Peter was eating a bowl of ice cream. The clock on top of the television struck 2:35am.

"Well kid, you should probably got to bed. After all these snack, you might actually be sick tomorrow." Tony laughed.

"Alright. Night Mr. Stark, don't let the bed bugs bite and lay eggs in your ear." Peter said, placing his bowl of cereal on the couch and going upstairs.

Tony watched Peter leave, making sure to wait till Peter's door shut before he grabbed the ice cream bowl. He continued watching the kid's show.

His phone began to ring. It was Peter. He answered. "Yes?" He said with a mouthful of ice cream.

"Hey, could you maybe turn it down a little?" Peter asked.

"Sure thing kid." Tony turned it down.

"Thanks. Goodnight, love ya dad." Peter went silent. "Uh..."

"I love you too son..." Tony whispered.

"Dad!" Peter came out of nowhere and jumped on Tony. Tony laughed.

"Alright alright kid." He patted Peter on the head.