little by little | jungkook

fourteen

song: bad blood ~ nao

'dreaming of a past that couldn't last,
but now we're changing'

—

mi na p.o.v.

it was now sixth period and lunch had finally come around.

i wiped my hands against my school skirt ready to scream at jungkook.

i tried my best to explain to sehun that jungkook had offered to take me to this place only for it to last longer than usual and that the whole time i just wanted to go home and talk to him.

although i could tell he didn't completely believe me, he still said it was fine and we talked about how each of our first week's went.

i couldn't even enjoy the conversation because the whole time i could tell he was doubting me.

thinking every word that came out my mouth was false.

but that wasn't true.

only a few words happened to be false...

"hey, are you going to tell me what we're doing or..." i heard jaehyun behind me, confused.

we were standing outside my locker and i was putting my textbooks away that i had already used for the day while also grabbing the hoodie i had borrowed from him.

i didn't want anything of his anymore.

i asked jaehyun to come with me so that if i felt like stabbing jungkook, he would be able to stop me.

i just needed someone there to control me.

"trust me you'll see." i said before slamming my locker shut and linking my hand with jaehyun's.

i didn't know when i got so close to jaehyun but i'm glad i did. he was the only real friend that i had made so far and if it wasn't for the whole jungkook and sehun situation, i might even see him in that way.

i kept taking deep breaths, telling myself not to cry because that would defeat the purpose of looking tough.

"you got this...?" jaehyun said to me not knowing what exactly to say since i didn't fill him in on what we were doing but he could still see the anxiousness in my body movements.

i knew jungkook sat outside with tae in a desolate corner far from everyone else.

i didn't really know where to classify jungkook when it came to high school groupings but i knew that he had some type of authority because girls definitely found him attractive but he was so nonchalant that everyone was too scared to speak to him.

i kept walking forward, my breath hitching in my throat with every step as i became increasingly nervous.

jaehyun squeezed my hand, definitely noticing and i looked up to him smiling.

i looked back towards jungkook and tae to see his eyes stop on jaehyun and i's hands interlocked together and then he slowly rose from his seat.

before he could walk away from his seat or make a comment i came to the table and slammed my hand down.

"how fucking dare you?" i asked, my own voice scaring me.

i felt as jaehyun let go of my hand rather quickly as he was scared too.

jungkook opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

i watched as tae scooted a little bit farther away, not wanting to be involved.

"i-i" he started but i stopped him.

"who gave you permission to respond to the text from sehun!?" i asked furiously feeling the tears start to come down.

he once again stuttered but no full words would  come out.

"and wh-why would you pick up the call?!" i said out of breath from how angry i was.

"i swear, i just did it so he knew not to worry..." he said putting his head down and i could hear the sorrow in his voice.

no mi na, don't give in.

i don't know if it was the sorrow in his voice, knowing that sehun was still in a way mad at me, or just being overwhelmed but i felt tears falling down my face.

here we go again.

i couldn't get any words out as i choked out more tears not being able to control it.

i was glad it was only me, jungkook, tae, and jaehyun that were close by because i couldn't- no i wouldn't let anyone else see me like this.

i felt as jaehyun put his hand on my shoulder and whispered, "hey, let's just go."

i took a deep breath before slamming the hoodie onto the table causing both tae and jungkook to look up at me abruptly.

"here, i don't want your shit anymore." i said not letting any tears come out with that last comment before grabbing ahold of jaehyun's hand again and dragging him away while i kept my face down feeling my tears falling.

i let him see this side of me again.

and i hated it.

—