little by little | jungkook

fourty six

song- a letter to my younger self ~ ambar lucid

'i know times are hard right now,
but i promise you'll be alright .'

—

mi na p.o.v.

i now sat in my room on the edge of my bed and i could literally feel myself going crazy. i had already paced around my room for over 15 minutes, i tried splashing my face with cold water, and i even tried to sit down and have a conversation with jackson just to calm my nerves.

everything made it worse.

especially the conversation with jackson.

i can't do this anymore. i'm going to call jungkook and tell him to just stay home because i honestly could not do this anym- and then suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of our doorbell ringing.

oh shit.

i quickly grabbed my hoodie and my phone, trying my hardest not to trip over my own two feet.

"mi na," i heard my mom yell, "jungkook is here!"

i could feel myself begin to become frustrated as i couldn't find my phone and then i heard a soft knock of my door.

"mom! i heard you! i'm coming." i said just wanting to scream. all of this was literally driving me crazy. i couldn't do it, i just couldn't.

i listened as my door slowly opened and i snapped my head up, ready to scream at whoever was there.

"hey, you okay?" i heard a voice say quietly and saw jungkook standing at my door, his hand still on the handle.

"i-i just can't find my stupid phone." i exclaimed in frustration. i heard as he laughed lightly and covered his mouth quickly as the look on my face was not one of humor.

"what!?" i said raising my hands up slightly.

"it's just that, your phone," he said trying suppress his laughter, "y-your phone is in your hand." he finished before pointing at my left hand.

i'm such a fucking idiot.

"let's go." i said pushing past him out my bedroom not wanting to watch him laugh at me anymore but i could still hear his loud laughter echo throughout the house.

i guess it was a little funny.

—

we now sat in silence, once again, as i drove. the dark sky above us not helping my case as i became more nervous with each turn we took inching us closer to our destination.

"mind telling me where we're going?" i heard jungkook ask as he turned his head in my direction.

i ignored his question as we turned into a neighborhood.

"we're almost there." i said while driving past each house, squinting to see the numbers. i finally spotted the house and pulled up into the driveway.

"i want you to meet somebody."

—
jungkook p.o.v.

"you're here!" a middle aged woman said to mi na with a large smile on her face and hugged her tightly.

"he's right in there." the woman said pointing to a room around the corner and i waved at her when we made eye contact.

"hi, i'm jungkook. nice to meet you." i said as she looked me up and down and turned to mi na.

"he's a cute one." she said and i watched as mi na's face turned a light shade of red along with mine.

"call me if you guys need anything."she said and then proceeded up her staircase.

i turned in the direction she had pointed in and the second i took my first step, i felt mi na press her hands against my chest in an attempt to stop me.

"wait. just wait a second," she said obviously nervous, "before we go in there, i just want you to think before you say or do anything." she finished.

i laughed at how dramatic she was being and moved her to the side.

"what is wrong with you." i said laughing and walking forward.

"w-wait!" she said trying to grab my arm but i kept walking forward. suddenly i heard small whimpers.

"i-is that a baby?" i asked, my voice filled with pure confusion.

i watched as mi na walked ahead of me and picked the small human up, bringing him towards me so that i could get a closer look at him.

"this is my baby. jungkook meet sehun." i heard mi na say slowly and carefully.

what the hell was going on?

she was serious?

—

we now sat at the kitchen table, mi na holding the baby.

"and well yeah that's what happened." she said refusing to make eye contact with me.

"so your aunt takes care of him now?" i asked just trying to make sure i didn't miss any part of this crazy story she had told me.

"yes," she said, "i just felt like she was the best person for the job and plus i knew how bad she wanted the kid so in my mind this was a win win situation."

she still looked down refusing to look at me.

what mi na had just told me was crazy. no not even crazy, it seemed like a whole movie plot.

but i didn't want her to be embarrassed and that's exactly what it seemed like right now. she was refusing to look at me and i wanted her to know that despite how out-of-this-world this situation seemed, i still cared for her just like before she told me this.

"can i hold him?" i asked quietly.

"w-what?" she asked just as confused as i felt right now.

"i want to hold him," i said while my face slowly heated up, "he's cute and i don't usually get the opportunity to hold babies."

i watched as a small smile appeared on her face and she carefully handed the small infant over to me.

we both stared at each other as the baby whimpered and snuggled into my chest. i could feel my whole body warm up from the slight touch i had on the baby.

"hi there, i'm your uncle jungkook." i said while bringing my face close to his and i could hear mi na giggle. i looked up to her and shrugged as the baby began wriggling in my hold.

the small baby looked up at me and i watched as a small smile appeared on his face exposing his teeth-less gums.

"he's so cute." i laughed as i touched his cheek and it laughed softly too.

we heard footsteps coming down the steps and her aunt appeared from around the corner.

"everything good here?" her aunt asked as she smiled at me holding the baby.

"just perfect." mi na responded and i could just hear from the tone of her voice that she was glad she did this.

and i was too.

—

we sat in the car, on our way home, and it was silent. but this time it didn't feel weird.

there was no music playing but rather just each of us and our own thoughts.

i wasn't sure what she was thinking in this exact moment but i knew for sure what i was.

i was thinking of how i had finally fallen in love and nothing felt better than this.

—