little by little | jungkook

thirty four

song- bad at love ~ halsey

'looking at my history,
i'm bad at love .'

—

mi na p.o.v.

i had to get out of there before he woke up because i couldn't deal with having to see his face after last night. he was the first person i had slept with since the incident and all the memories began pouring back in.

'what are we going to do?' i screamed out in a high pitched voice, my mind going everywhere.

'please calm down, i know what to do.'

i covered my mouth with one hand as my tears began blurring my vision.

i wish i hadn't done what i did with jungkook last night because i didn't need any distractions today. i was going to do something that would not only hurt me but destroy someone else's life.

i cant believe i'm doing this today. i just couldn't believe it. we had kept it a secret for over a year now and it was finally coming out. with everything that was going on with jungkook and i for the past few months, i had almost forgotten. i looked for every excuse i could think of but it just wouldn't make up for what i was about to tell sehun.

the baby he thought we shared was another mans.

—

i pulled up to the hotel eager but not in a good way. i watched as chanyeol and sehun came out together, sehun saying something and then leaning over and laughing while chanyeol awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. i was so nervous i could barely speak when they opened up my car doors and greeted me.

i felt as sehun pressed his soft lips against mine and flashbacks from last night with jungkook came back into my mind. but honestly that was the least of my worries right now.

"hey chanyeol," i barely whispered out as he too knew why i was acting the way i was.

i was now finally 18 which meant i could see my kid.

when i became pregnant about a year ago, the deal with my mother was that either i have an abortion or i have the child but give it to my aunt who was barren. i couldn't bring myself to have an abortion out of fear and my aunt was so excited so i knew what to do. she now cared for the child and told me once i hit 18 and was officially an adult, i could come visit him all i wanted.

she gave sehun and i the permission to choose the name which is why he was now little sehun jr. and i knew sehun had been waiting for this day since then meanwhile i was dreading it.

the whole pregnancy was a mistake and i still have no idea what happened. but now i know you're wondering if sehun isn't the father then who is?

we sat in silence other than sehun's rambling about how he's glad we kept the child because he was so happy to meet the small human who was his. with each sentence he spoke, my heart broke and i just knew chanyeol felt the same way.

i couldn't believe i was about to do this.

—