little by little | jungkook

twenty eight

song: six feet under ~ billie eilish

'and all of these clouds,
crying us back to life,
but you're cold as a knife .'

—

mi na p.o.v.

i drove up to the front of the hotel and texted sehun telling him that i was here.

i watched as him and chanyeol came out from the front entrance and i couldn't even smile like before.

last night with jungkook really ruined things.

i watched as sehun shot me a smile and i did my best to replicate one back as i unlocked the car.

"hey guys what's up?" i said in the process of starting my car.

sehun didn't even respond but instead kissed me on the cheek and chanyeol just looked down at his phone the whole time.

i looked at chanyeol waiting to make eye contact and he looked up quickly before looking back down immediately.

"let's just go sight seeing i guess." i said even though i didn't want to do anything but sit at home.

—

i watched as sehun grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine as we walked out into the shopping center.

chanyeol trailed behind while still tapping away at his phone screen.

"i'm gonna go sit over there." he said as he pointed to the granite steps that was placed across from the fountain.

before either of us could respond, he walked over and sat down not disconnecting his eyes from his phone at all.

"how's he doing..." i asked not breaking eye contact with the back of his head.

"it's been hard...it really has," sehun started, holding my hand tighter, "but i can't help but feel as though there's more to what's going on with him."

i held my breath as he said that.

"what do you mean?"

"honestly i don't even know, i'm just sorta talking out my ass now. let's go shop or something." and he dragged me away with a smile on his face but i couldn't help but just watch chanyeol with his head covered by his tan hoodie.

i wish i could say it was only his mother's death affecting him like this.

—

jungkook p.o.v.

i felt hands shake my shoulders as i brought my head up slowly, rubbing my eyes.

"jungkook...jungkook! wake up!" i heard the loud voice echo throughout my head.

"f-fuck."

"hey, get up. now." i heard the voice say sternly.

i stopped rubbing one eye to see who it was and sure enough it was taehyung.

"get up man, this is just embarrassing." he said grabbing one of my arms and pulling me up as best as possible.

"w-what time is it?" i asked, completely out of it.

"like 2 something i think."

i groaned realizing my day was gone. i then looked around suddenly, looking from my phone all over the kitchen table.

"it's charging." i heard tae say as he released my arm, tired of trying to lift up a lifeless body up.

she hasn't called or texted me yet.

"thanks man," i said rubbing my head, why was my body aching?

"god, look at your hands." i watched as tae picked up my limp wrists and examined them.

oh yeah, last night.

"you need to clean these or something, i don't know?" he said questionable about what to do.

"it's good- i'm good." i said removing his large hands from my wrist.

but was i really good?

—

i sat on one of the couches inside the store as sehun walked around picking up random items.

i held my phone that now had a shattered screen.

my fingers ran across the screen slowly as it picked up small pieces of glasses.

i proceeded to rubbing the back of my head which slammed against jungkook's car window when he pushed my head back.

i winced at the small pinch i felt from the aching headache i still had.

i never thought it would get to the point where he would hurt me.

he was just so happy earlier, what happened?

i just wanted to talk about what was going on with sehun so he could understand but he just didn't want to hear me out and that's just not the way a relationship should be.

i looked out the store window at chanyeol still sitting on the steps looking out into the distance.

i was hurting for him.

you might think that it didn't make sense for me to blame myself for why chanyeol was so down because it as been a while since our whole incident happened but there was more to the story.

more than what my mother, jackson, or even sehun knew.

something only chanyeol and i knew.

—

'c-chanyeol...i don't know what to do! this wasn't supposed to happen!'

'take a deep breath," i heard him say from the other side of the phone as i paced around my room.

i had just turned 17 not too long ago and i couldn't believe this was happening to me.

"how am i going to tell him?! how am i going to tell anyone!?"

"i-i have an idea."

—

i walked out the store over to chanyeol who sat alone at the steps.

"hey..." i said my voice trailing off, hesitant to how he would react to me coming over.

he looked up at me and then back down. considering the fact that he didn't tell me to get the fuck away from him i took that as a sign to sit down.

we sat there for a couple of seconds just watching the water fountain pour out water as children came throwing coins in.

"how are you?" i asked ready to finally talk since it was just us.

no response.

"chanyeol...just know that if you ever need anyone to talk to, i'm here alwa-"

"i'm going to tell him."

and just like that my life was ruined.

—