Circles | ✔️

Forty seven *

Flashback
-6 years ago-

New York City

Isobel P.O.V.

My feelings of sadness morphed into madness as more time passed. I wasn't upset anymore, I was now simply angry. Sophie bared the brunt of my rants and outpouring of feelings unfortunately.

"He had like weeks Soph to say anything, to explain why he would tell me we'd keep in contact, why he would tell me he was coming to the airport, why he would just take advantage of us and then get up and leave without a word in the morning. I feel used." I ranted upset and angrily.

"I know, I know." She said. "It doesn't excuse what he did at all, but I guess he's just going through stuff just like you too..."

"He still hurt me whether I like to admit it or not. I'm just, I can't keep tearing myself up about it all. It makes me feel insecure and doubtful about my worth. And that's not the kind of girl I am. I can't let him have that power over me."

"Aw I'm sorry Is." She said, and I could feel her solemn expression on her face right now. "You know you're beautiful and if a guy doesn't see your worth, then he's not worth it. You're amazing okay?"

"Thanks Soph," I murmured, hugging my knees to my chest. "It's just that I thought, I don't know if this was stupid, but I thought Kade genuinely cared for me?" I said meekly. "But if he did then, why would he just leave?" I blinked back a tear.

"It's not stupid. I think he does care Is. But it's something you might have to find out from him," she said softly.

"Ugh!!!" I groaned. "I don't know, I don't think I want to talk to him yet, even though I want answers. I'm scared I'll just be too angry and it won't achieve anything. Maybe I just need to forget about the whole thing for a while. It sucks. He sucks."

"I hear you. When you're ready to talk, then you talk to him. You do what's best for you okay?" Sophie murmured in her most relaxing tone. She's too damn nice to me sometimes.

"Thanks Soph. Let's just... let's just put on a talking about Kade ban for now." I said, nodding to myself.

"Okay, if that will help."

"Thankyou for always being here for me."

"No worries Is. Ollie said take care as well, and he hopes you're enjoying New York- things will get better."

I smiled softly. "Tell him thankyou aswell."

So, in order to prevent myself from stewing over it, I resorted to blocking his memory from my mind if it ever so came up. Right then and there, formed my (probably unhealthy) therapeutic habit of instantly forgetting everything that reminded me of him as soon as it popped up.

He had reached out (barely might I add), but I ignored them all. I needed to put myself first, and right now, all that happened when thinking about him was a surge of unwanted, miserable feelings.

Ignorance is bliss, so they say.

The summer went by in a quick flash and fall semester, my first semester of college was here. Just like that, three months had vanished.

I packed my books excitedly and headed towards my first ever class, seeing the purple flags holding the school's insignia fluttering in the gentle breeze. I made my way into the large theatre that held hundreds of tiny little chairs and desks assigned perfectly in little rows. I slipped inside one and waited patiently. The rows quickly filled with freshman students from all walks of life as the room was buzzing with chatter.