#nexilove

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I slid the card into the hotel door, and pushed it open. It was about 10:45am and we had just arrived to the hotel we are staying at for Vidcon. " It's a nice hotel" I said as I set my things down on the chair. " Agreed" Kian says as he jumped onto the bed and turned the tv on.

" Kiki don't forget we have a panel at 3pm" I said as I grabbed my purse " Where are you going?" He asks " I'm going to go wander around, check out the place" I reply as I check my make up " Ok, don't get mauled by screaming fans" He says as he flips through the channel.  I blew him a kiss, grabbed a hotel key, and walked out.

I headed towards the elevator, when my phone buzzed so, I looked down at it not paying attiontion to wher I was going, when I bumped into someone. " Sorry" I say as I try to walk around them " Lexi?" They ask, and I look up " Oh my gosh Nash it's been forever!" I screamed as I hugged him. Nash and I met a long time ago in grad school, he was my only friend before I moved to Seattle. " I know! Hey I have nothing to do for like 2 hours, wanna hang out?" He asks " Sure! let's go explore the hotel" I say as I drag him into the elevator.

When the doors opened a bunch of girls started running towards us screaming, and before we knew it security was pushing them away. Since I have never been to any meet up or event like this I had no idea what to do, so I looked up at Nash with a confused look on my face. " Here follow me" He says, and he takes my arm and runs us to another room. Once we got there we bursted out into laughter.

" Is it always like that?" I say breathing heavily " Yep, but usually worse" He says smiling. " So it's basically impossible to go anywhere?" I ask sighing and sitting down " Kinda, but not always" He says sitting beside me. 

After a few minutes, one of the workers came in and told us we could freely walk around now, so we got up, and walked outside. " Hey do you have your penny board?" I ask " Indeed I do" He says pointing to his backpack. " Then lets go penny boarding!" I say as I grab mine out of my bag. We started skating around until we came to a steep hill. " I've never went that steep" I say nervously " I'll hold your hand" He says as he sets his board down, and gives me his hand. 

After a a few hours of hanging out with Nash, he had to go to his panel, and I had to get ready for mine. I walked into the hotel room, and threw my stuff down. I grabbed a galaxy crop top, skinny black jeans and changed, then I put on a pair of black toms, and did my hair into a side braid. " Kiki are you ready to go?" I ask, he just gives me a glare.

What did I do? Should I have came back earlier? Did he want to spend time with me? All of these thoughts raced through my mind " Kian what's wrong?" I ask sitting down next to him. " Check your Twitter" He says as he grabs his stuff and slams the door shut. 

I quickly grab my macbook and go to Twitter. I look over at 'worldwide trends' to see " Nexilove" trending 3rd world wide. I quickly press the hashtag seeing photos of Nash holding my hand as we ran from the crowd, and photos of us skating down the hill holding hands. 

How did these people get these photos? Does Kian think I'm cheating on him? I keep scrolling through the hashtag seeing tweets like " I knew Lexi wasn't good enough for Kian, shes already cheating on him!" And the one that really got me, " She should just kill her self, it's not like anyone actually likes her." That last tweet had 1,000 retweets...

I sank to the ground. How could anyone ever say that to someone? Do they not know that I have feelings? I looked at my phone to see some new tweets:

" @andrearussett: Told you that you could never do better :)"

"@nashgrier: Guys stop! Lexi is just an old friend geez! Don't believe everything you see on the internet"

I retweeted Nash's tweet and wrote one of my own " You guys really know how to make a girl feel like she's a piece of shit..."   As soon as I tweeted that I got tweets like " Well because you are a piece of shit!"  I grabbed a pillow and cried into it.  I look back up at my phone to see it's 2:55pm. Even though I didn't want to go to the panel, I had too. So I grabbed my bag and quickly fixed my make up.

When I got backstage Andrea, Kian, Jenn, Sam, and Anthony looked at me in disgust.. I sighed and sat against the wall, so they couldn't see me. Suddenly I felt two people sit on etheir side of me, when I looked up I saw Jack and Trevor. " We know nothing happened Lex, You're not like that" Trevor says giving me a hug " Don't worry about it Lex, practically all of us are on your side" Jack says giving me a reasurring smile.

" YOU GUYS ARE ON!" The man says and we all go on stage and sit down. " Hey guys!" Jenn says, making the crowd scream " We are going to be doing a live Q&A!" Sam says smiling.

All the girls raised there hands, asking certian people questions, I kinda zoned out until one girls question. " Kian I have a question for you" A girl asks, she was about 14 years old with long brown hair, and was wearing an O2L shirt.  " Why did you ask Lexi out? I mean shes so ugly, and shes not even that funny. You could do way better, and she even cheated on you with Nash! Ugh you deserve better!" She says before shooting me a dirty look, and sitting back down.

Kian looked at her blankly, he had no words, he didn't say that I was beautiful, he didn't back me up, he just sat there staring off into space.

I have had it, hot tears were forming in my eyes, I wanted to just end this all. I was trying to have this new chapter in my life not have drama in it, so I grabbed my microphone and started to speak.

" Ok you don't need to tell me I'm ugly I have been called worse, I've been called worthless, stupid, and every other offense word in the book, and I don't need some 14 year old reminding me of that!" I start to say " Im going to tell you all something, and I know i'm going to regret it, but do you see these?" I say showing them the scars on my wrist. " Those are scars, I've been years clean, but scars don't leave. They stay there to remind you how bad your life use to be, they stay there to show you that you didn't give up, but at this point I want to give up. I started youtube to have a new chapter in my life, and to make new friends and forget about how horrible my life once was. I try so hard, to be accepted, and I finally felt like I was wanted somewhere.. and that somewhere was youtube, but now I don't even feel wanted here!." I stop to take a breath and calm down, and at this point Jc was rubbing my back.

 " I don't even understand why you would all think I would cheat on Kian! I was raised better than that! How could I ever cheat on someone who made me happy?"  I started to walk off stage, but I turned around to say one last thing " Oh and by the way, I have known Nash for 8 years, he is practically my older brother, so sorry for grabbing my brothers hand while he was helping me skate down a hill." I then slammed the microphone down on the table, and ran off stage sobbing.

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I needed to add drama.... Sooo here!

I will post another chapter right after this because i don't want to leave you all hanging!

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