A Message From My Ex (Completed)

Chapter 15: Lea's Story

~When the night falls on you, baby, you're feeling all alone, you won't be on your own.~

~Lea Jansen~

Love.  The word itself can work its magic on you.  With the slightest touch of love, you can already be changed in so many ways.  Love changes you.  It changed me.  The girl in my childhood was different from the girl I was in my teenage years and the girl I am now is difficult to define.

Loved.  Strived.  Failed.  Those three words practically describe who I am right now.

Everyday, I frown as I pick up the microphone onstage and start singing for The Black Hat.  Nobody notices me here.  My voice is put to waste as I sing for a group of people who simply think of it as background music while they get drunk and fool around.

The message is my only hope.  All my dreams might have been shattered and so is my love life but hope has always been inside me.  It's bottled up somewhere deep inside the vast world of my soul.  It's a desert and I can't find a way out.  It used to be a garden, a paradise abounding with beautiful flowers and flourishing trees but as the years passed, everything wilted with age and it all became a desert.  The only hope I have is that I can find an oasis.  I can find something that could help me get through this desert.  All I need is something to strengthen my will to surge forward and go back to the paradise this place used to be.

Everything about him is still inside me.  I can still picture the oasis and how wonderful the taste will be once I've encountered the crystal clear water.  His dark blonde hair which always seemed so neat even though it could've been so unmanaged in so many ways, his dark blue eyes which may have looked ominous and mysterious but through my hard work, gotten my way into to find the best man in the world, his tall and muscular physique and tanned skin making him look like a guy who grew up in California instead of Pennsylvania - everything about him was still in my mind.

How do you erase someone from your thoughts?  How can you forget someone who's already part of who you are?  Nobody but he supported me in my dreams.  Everybody thought i was foolish.  Only he believed in me.

I held his hand for years and he never let go.  I thought he never would.  Last year, it simply slipped away from me while I let my guard down.

It was my fault.  I used to put the blame on him but no, this is clearly my fault.  Who knew that I was that desperate to get to my dream?  I knew I was a go-getter but this wasn't it.

I used to close myself off to people.  I didn't want anyone to know the hurt I've felt after he let me go but now, I must use my voice.  I've been singing all my life but all this time, I've never really used it.  The voice inside was me was always kept hidden behind the melody upfront.  I'm ready to tell my story now.  The message has been sent.  Although he wasn't the one who received, this man is the key to getting him back.  The message has served its purpose and I'm ready to let people listen to me.

~Chris Reed~

I looked up at the petite girl again.  She wrote it?  How could that be possible?  Lindsey had to be the one who wrote this.  She's L and I'm Chris.  There was no doubt of it.  This letter was written by Lindsey because she still loves me and it worked because I'm here now and we will make this through.  She lied.

But why would she lie?  If she really wanted to get back together with me, she wouldn't lie and just smile to see that the message had done what it needed to do but she lied.  If she didn't want to get back together with me, she'd tell me about the message because she knew that I wasn't dumb enough to fall for her little lie.

And if she really did tell the truth, this girl named Lea's declaration simply supported her statement.  This message wasn't about me and Lindsey.  It was about Lea and whatever problem that would be similar to mine.  But she was so young.  Early twenties probably.  How could someone like her have her heart broken at such a tender age?