A Message From My Ex (Completed)

Chapter 19: The Right Song

Not sure if I can finish this today and I honestly don't know if I can update this for the next two weeks since my exams coming up already.  But for now, enjoy.

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Recap~

"Because it requires something that I don't have but you have - a voice. We're recreating your past.  You're going to be the opening number again...but this time for Oaksville's yearly Summer Music Festival."

On My Own is a pretty cool song.

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~If you forgive me all this, If I forgive you all that, we forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me.~

~Lea Jansen~

I was scared.

I still can't believe my best friend made me do this.  This is so frustrating. I've never done anything in front of a crowd.  What if I screwed up?  I would be the laughing stock of Oaksville.  Plus, I would've failed her and let that bitch win.  What do I do?

"Next up, Lea Jansen!"  The announcer declared as the contestant before me left the stage.

I thought I stopped breathing as I clutched the microphone to my chest and slowly climbed onstage.    I stared at the crowd with this sad-puppy face and looked over at the crowd.  They must think I'm nervous or something.

I took a deep breath. I have to do this.  I promise.  I hate it but I promised. The man started to play the piano with the instrumental at the beginning.

"On my own pretending he's beside me.  All alone, I walk with him till morning.  Without him, I feel his arms around me. And when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me.  In the rain, the pavement shines like silver.  All the lights are misty in the river.  In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight.  And all I see is him and me forever and forever."

"And I know it's only in my mind," I started belting out pleading the crowd to get their attention.  "That I'm talking to myself and not to him.  And although I know that he is blind, still I say there's a way for us."

"I love him."  I blinked my eyes trying to convince the audience yet again.  "But when the night is over.    He is gone.  The river's just a river.  Without him, the world around me changes.  The trees are bare and everywhere, the streets are full of strangers."

"I love him but everyday, I'm learning.  All my life, I've only been pretending." I knelt to the ground in agony projecting fake tears from my eyes.  "Without me, his world goes on turning.  A world that's full of happiness that I have never known!"

"I love him." I climb back to my feet.

"I love him."  I wipe a tear from my eye.

"I love him." I face the crowd with puffy red eyes.

"But only on my own."

"That's a wrap!"  The director  yelled.

I wiped more of the tears away and tried to smile at the director who just smiled back.  "That was beautiful, honey."

"Thanks." I said trying to smile as I walk away from rehearsal to let some dance troup practice onstage.

I can still recall every moment of my first competition while I sang that song.  It had never come to my mind during that one year that Chris and I were apart but On My Own was the perfect song.  I felt like only I loved him, that after this break-up, our relationship was very much one-sided.  No matter how much I tried to reconcile, Chris would still be mad at me  and nothing would happen.