Chapter 30: Burning Hearts, Fever Minds

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Princess Kassandra of Nohr

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Princess Kassandra of Nohr

Xander dealt with the body for me after the deed was done. I pushed past the illusion of Iago and left the room, unable to see clearly as my eyes filled with tears. I navigated the fort by touch and smell until wooden doors gave way beneath my fingers and my lungs were filled with fresh air.

I sank down in front of the building, illuminated by the sunset, and wept. By the time I had cried my eyes dry, the sky was dark.

"I'm sorry, Rainbow Sage." I spread my hands wide and looked down at them. They felt strange, but there was no blood.

It didn't change what I'd done. I had killed for the first time in my life, and even though my victim had been a dragon, I had committed a great sin.

What gave me the right? What gave any of us the right to dictate who died?

I had crossed a bridge that had crumbled behind me. I had gone past the point of no return. There was no removing the stain from my soul, no wiping away this feeling of invisible blood on my hands. I'd opened something deep and dark inside me, something everyone has to bear once they've taken the divine matters of life and death upon themselves.

Would it be the undoing of us all?

But it was not just the consequences of my kill digging a black chasm within me. Something else had taken root there, long before I had even raised my sword towards the Rainbow Sage. I hadn't realised it at first, but when his hand had connected with my forehead, he'd not just given me new power. He'd stirred something that had been sleeping inside.

That was why I'd stolen a wyrmslayer.

I slid it from its sheath, the leather falling into my lap. Wiping away my tears, I turned the blade, letting it catch the glint of the moon. I had never been scared to touch a wyrmslayer before. Why should I? I'd never transformed into a dragon, not even in part. Until recently, I hadn't known it was possible.

Please let this feeling within be my guilt. Please don't let this be the way Norton used to feel.

I raised the sword and pressed my hand against the flat of the blade. Burning pain shot through my flesh. My skin steamed.

I yelped and dropped the sword, bringing my hand to my mouth. When I drew it away, there was a large burn mark across my palm.

Sheathing the blade with trembling fingers, I fled inside.

I collided with Xander as I passed through the doors, and he caught hold of me before I could fall. "Kass! I was just coming to find you." His arms curved strongly around my back. "Why don't we go outside again and talk?"

I nodded. He looked around us, but we were temporarily alone, and so he took my unscarred hand.

We sat down just outside the entrance, and I ended up in Xander's lap. He held me against him. "You've been so strong, my princess. You did the right thing. Most of the First Dragons are long gone, having killed themselves for the same reasons. You are as much a saviour of the world as Norton. I know this isn't an easy thing to do, but don't let the death weigh on you. You are no murderer."

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