Chapter 31: Break into Darkness

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Prince Nayoko of Hoshido

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Prince Nayoko of Hoshido

Our retreat by sea was tense. Ryoma was in a dark mood about our defeat, and while he was never vile towards his soldiers, we could all see the glimmer of a restrained temper in his eyes. As a result, the troops on our ship were muted and meek.

On the first day, so was I. Jakob tended to me in my cabin, while Semyaza and Kaze popped in and out with vulneraries, food, and drink. Ryoma checked in several times, but he said little, and his concern was so marred by his black mood that it felt sharp. It was not just defeat sitting on his shoulders, but loss: loss of Kass, loss of Takumi, and loss of Azura.

The concern of the others, at least, was softer. Being under the almost constant care of Jakob reminded me of our old days when I'd led my Nohrian platoon -- there had been more than one occasion when he'd had to heal me extensively after a battle. There was an easy understanding between us, a sense of routine, and I was not embarrassed to be at his mercy.

I spent the morning slipping in and out of consciousness, sometimes from the pain of my wound and sometimes from the vulneraries Jakob kept giving me. In my dreams, I saw Xander. I sweated and shifted in my sleep, disturbed by the fact that he had turned so harshly against me.

I woke up properly in the early afternoon, my senses a little more restored, and ordered Jakob to take a lunch break. I was of the opinion that I did not need a constant minder, and he eventually agreed and left.

But, five minutes later, Semyaza came in without knocking, bearing two cups of tea and a deep frown. It set her mouth into a hard line and stole away the pretty flush in her cheeks, although the softness of her eyes remained.

She put both teacups down on my bedside, then sat in the chair Jakob had vacated and stared at me.

"I'm not on my deathbed," I said gently. "Stop looking at me like that."

Her face would usually turn a little pink after a friendly reprimand, but this time there was nothing. She just closed her eyes and bowed her head. "I want to offer my apologies for not protecting you, Nayoko."

I stared at her in astonishment. "What?"

"As your retainer, I should have been at your side for every step of the battle. I should have protected you with my life."

"Xander wasn't going to kill me," I replied, although I felt a little uneasy as I said it. "In any case, it's not like you wandered off. Ryoma chose a position in the formation where he felt you'd be strongest, and you followed your leader's orders."

She nodded, but she'd started to worry a loose thread on her shorts.

"Ryoma was at my side the whole time," I said. "Do you think he failed me by not taking the blow himself? By not shoving me -- and I imagine I weigh a good deal as a dragon -- out of harm's way? By not defeating Xander in a matter of seconds so that he'd never get the chance to attack me?"

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