To the one I loved the most

You Kill Me.

You kill me.
You kill me like the painful nostalgia that floods my heart
When I pass my childhood home in my childhood town
Catching a glimpse of the swingset I painted only a year before
You kill me when you pull away and leave me alone
Because I am a Cancer and I crave to love and to be loved
You kill me because even now, 7 months later,
When I see you my mind goes ballistic with ideas of what could've been
You kill me like the snow kills the bare brown trees in the dead of winter
Looking so beautiful even in an attempt to bury my branches in what seemed so pure
You kill me like the time I burnt my thumb playing with fire
Pain so quick but lasting long after the flame goes out
You kill me because you are a hurricane far out at sea
And I am a small lifeboat that barely survives the rough waters
Praying for the storm to blow over time and time again
You kill me when you turn around and say you don't see how you lead me on
You kill me when you pretend that you are the victim
You kill me like the memory of summer on a cold afternoon in January
Wishing the snow would turn into a cool crisp ocean
Longing to be in a bathing suit under the sun instead of bundled up in a parka
Trying everything to keep warm from the blistering cold
That surrounds not only the body but the heart
After all this time you still kill me
With a glance or a smile or even by turning away
You kill me in the same way cold weather kills a sunflower
Slowly,
until there is nothing left to wilt.