To the one I loved the most

You are dead to me & to your old self.

I catch myself
Laughing at a hilarious memory
Of you
In my 7th period English class
I catch myself
Talking to myself out loud
About what I would say to you
If we ever spoke in person again
In my 2nd period health class
I still see you
After school
Walking to the bus
I watched you tease her at lunch
As I walked by your table
With my head down
For some reason these random memories
Pop up in my head
And I find myself daydreaming about them
Reliving them again as if they never left
And for only a moment
I forget that we now are strangers
And I can't wait to talk to you on the phone
And when I'm in the shower
I remember you calling me
Countless times
Until I picked up the phone
Just so we could talk about the craziest things
And you could see me laugh
And we could be in each other's presence
How am I still able to write all of this
All of your tenderness
When all you've done
Is destroy me entirely
How can I write about our memories
When who you are now is completely
Unrecognizable
Now you insult me behind my back
And pin blame on me
When before you said we'd be friends
Until the sun dies
What happened to all those promises
All the times we cried together
What happened to your sweet words
That soothed my aching soul
That shielded me from the cruelty of the world
What happened to you
I look at you as you pass by me
And I wonder how someone could ever
Just get up and leave
And not look back
Running away with someone new
Without a single goodbye
How could you treat someone like a lover
And then walk out on them the next day
How could you leave me here
In the dark next to the hollow shell
Of who you used to be
His dead eyes seem to stare into nothing
As we watch you kiss her in the hallway