To the one I loved the most

You were my heaven when the world felt like hell.

I miss you a little extra tonight
And I don't know if it's because
Of the silence that has replaced
The sound of your voice over the phone
After 9 p.m.
Or that there's no one I can turn to
To love and to hold
When I feel like the world is out to get me
When I'm tripping and falling
Struggling to walk alone
Maybe it's because I miss your guidance
Along this eery path
Maybe it's because my little sister is struggling
And I know you would know how to help me cope
Maybe it's because I'm realizing life is too short
To let go of the people you love
But also too short
To hold on to the ones who don't show it back
Maybe it's because I'm missing the old you
Or maybe it's because I'm finally looking past it all
And starting to accept it
Maybe the sadness of your absence
Is finally bringing me to my knees
Making my entire existence cave in
Maybe it's because I don't feel like I belong
And because I'm stuck with these friends
Who aren't really of meaning to me
Maybe it's because you were the only real one left
Why is it such a bad thing to depend on someone
You cleared my mind and gave me perspective
And isn't that all we long for in this lifetime?
Maybe I miss you because you are the only thing that matters to me anymore
Because I cherish you with all of my being
Maybe I miss your comical relief
And your warmth that whispered,
"Everything will be okay."
Your smile melted my worries
And your words like a massage to my soul
You soothed my racing mind and heart
And I haven't felt that easiness since you left
I've been chasing it though
Maybe I miss you extra tonight
Because I'm realizing you're all I ever really needed
to keep me not just alive
but living