"For me, a key component of a relationship is best friend love. A friendship where you can be goofy and banter, but in turn draws you to become so intimate. That's how I knew it was real between me and him. We joked around, laughed, and he was so, so comfortable around me in ways that he couldn't be if I was just a significant other. That's how I know it's surface level between him and her now. When he complements her, she responds with an "Aww, that's sweet," and a cheesy smile like they're in kindergarten and have been dating for a couple days. Sure, they may have their gushy, lovey-dovey moments, but it isn't real. It's not authentic. It's treading on the surface of a lake him and I dove so deep into, and we weren't even officially together. Him and I shared such depth between the two of us that it was difficult to decipher the difference in our waters. It is hard to explain, but I see the way he looks and talks to her, and in his eyes, just a little bit, I can see his regret and strain. I think he forgets that we were once best friends, and I can still read him as clear as day. I can see in the way he talks to her that it is not pure joy; it is tinted with unsure feelings. He tries to make up for it with physical affection; something him and I never needed to create a spark. I know that he is not his charismatic self around her because that part of him is only seen by a best friend before taking the stance of a lover. The side of him that lets his guard down; the side of him that completely confides in you in such a relaxed manner. That part is only seen by the girl who can open him up within days when everyone else tried for years to crack the code of his eyes; and that girl was me. I can only imagine how much he regrets letting that go, and I sure as hell know he'll never be able to replace it."
YOU ARE READING
To the one I loved the most
PoetryMy heart was broken and so I wrote these poems. I hope you find comfort and healing within them <3
