The Gay Side Of The Fam (Stony highschool AU)

Chapter 12

/WARNING: Includes (fake) suicide/

Tony

I'm standing at the edge of a bride, tears streaming down my face. Wind catches my hair as I look up at the clear blue sky. I'm not alone, the bridge is full of honking cars and chattering people on the sidewalks, but no on is noticing me. They're all just happily living their carefree lives, day in, day out.

I stare down at the glistening water beneath me. Even though I can swim, if I'd jump right now, the current would keep me in it's force and I wouldn't be able to make it.

Suddenly a man appears behind me. I turn my head to look at him. He's wearing a gray suit, has a stern face with brown hair and a moustache, which are already starting to show shades of gray.

My father walks a little closer to me and points at the water, "Go on, nobody would miss you anyway."

As tears start streaming down my cheeks even harder, I close my eyes firmly and plummet towards the gray water.

~~~

Gasping for air, I wake up in the dark. Every single inch of my body is covered in sweat, making the ending of my dream even more lively.

I jerk the heavy sheets off me and stumble to the bathroom where I fill a cup with cold water and gulp it down.

Water always helps me clear my mind. But now that we're here I'm not sure I want my mind cleared.

I rest my back against the cold tiles on the wall as I'm still sweating. Then I shove my back down the wall so I sit on the ground, my arms folded over my knees.

I bury my face into my arms and silently cry.

After I had an anxiety attack yesterday, I thought it'd get better after sleeping. Usually there are no nightmares straight after one.

I think I sat there for about twenty minutes, and after that I was still sweating, so I make my way to the window.

I wriggle it fully open and sit down in the window frame, letting my legs bungle outside.

Then I just sit there, watching the beautiful view and listen to the distant sounds of the never sleeping city.

Suddenly I hear some muffled sounds and someone walking my way.

He sits down on the window frame with his back to the view, "Can't sleep either?"

He frowns softly as he sees the despair on my face when I turn my head to look at his beautiful blue eyes full of worry shimmering in the lights of the city.

I quickly wipe my tears away and move back to look out of the window.

"Hey, are you okay?" Steve's voice sounds so worried that I almost start crying again. Why am I so emotional all of a sudden?

I look down to the dark ground. My mind is at war right now. On one hand, I want to tell him to fuck off. This is my business and I don't want to let anyone into this little private part of my life. But on the other hand, I always keep my emotions to myself and maybe it'd be some sort of relief to tell somebody. I do trust Steve..

I turn my face to his again but I don't look into his eyes, "Don't think I am."

"Hey," he softly squeezes my shoulder his face looks so sad I don't understand it. How can he have such empathy?

"Let's get away from the window first, we're at like 30 feet." He says, gently rubbing my shoulder.

"That's the point." I try to not make my voice crack but I fail. When did I turn into a suicidal teen?