22 - Push Me To The Limits

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PUSH ME TO THE LIMITS

For a second, Louis felt like his whole world had just come crashing down from the words that had been uttered from Harry's mouth. It seemed unbelievable, and he wasn't going to accept it, he didn't want to. It seemed too painful to even consider, to comprehend. He couldn't imagine his poor boy feeling so powerless, unable to stand up for himself and get himself out of the worst situation. He could feel his heart clenching, his fists rolled up and his eyes still squeezed shut-- trying to block out the inital pain. He hadn't even realised there was tears rolling down his cheeks, onto his shirt and he didn't even try to wipe it away.

Harry noticed, hesitantly moving forward and touching Louis's shoulder just slightly. "Why you crying?"

Louis exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "I just..." 

But, he didn't want to talk. He didn't have any words left to say. Louis felt defeated, nothing had ever brought him down like this and he was truly speechless for the first time in his life. He had thought he had gone through the world's worst problems, through the high's and low's but there is nothing like your love confessing they've been raped. They've been used, out of their will, and made to feel nothing more than a dirty object.

Louis crawled back in bed, feeling so small and fragile even though it wasn't even him who had gone through the whole ordeal. His heart and head felt heavy, his mind trapped in thousands of thoughts and his palms sweaty. 

"Can I hug you?" Louis whispered, spluttering out the words like even that was too hard to say.

Harry sighed, looking deep into the blue eyes like he was trying to cheer him up. Like he was trying to shrug this off. But, this is not a little deal-- it's huge and Louis had to do something about it. He had never felt this amount of anger, as well as sadness, his cheeks bright red and his fists clenched in balls. His jaw was tightened, trying to block out all the bitter thoughts running through his mind right now-- just wanting to attack Dalton, ending him for once and all.

Harry nodded weakly, moving his arms from himself and letting himself be wrapped up by Louis's strong arms. Louis tried to get comfortable, snuggling close and feeling the warmth of Harry's knitted sweater, trying to find home in this place-- where he belonged. Louis didn't have the energy to speak, to say comforting words. What could he possibly say that could make this situation okay? 

He just hoped that Harry didn't expect anything from him, didn't expect him to make a big deal and shout horrible words that wouldn't amount to anything. What has happened, has happened and Louis wasn't there-- he wasn't able to save his damsel in distress and nothing felt worst.

"Don't cry sweetheart," Harry managed to break the awkward, tense silence. He slipped his hand from under Louis's hold, slowly grazing it across Louis's cheekbones to collect the moisture before smiling. It was a sincere smile and it made Louis's heart flutter.

"I'm not," he muttered pathetically, rolling his eyes but only hugging him tighter, afraid of letting go. 

"Please."

"Ssh, I'm not," he repeated.

They stayed like this for a while and it felt good, to just lay in silence and enjoy each others company-- not feeling the need to say anything. Louis couldn't get the damaging image out of his head, only imagining Harry crying and not being able to fend for himself. Then, he would just think about how much of a shitty friend that made him, how he failed to fulfill the simple rules of being there for Harry. He was so concerned about his own life, his singing career and getting his album done that he didn't even bother keeping in touch with Harry, really keeping in touch.

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