The Life Of Isaac...

Chapter 27: Winter Break

*I open my eyes to see a familiar place. Familiar surroundings. It's Eli's bedroom. I look around and see Eli on his bed. He's alive and well. But his face and body language and giving the opposite vibe of "well". He looks at me and comes walking towards me with the gun in his hand. The pistol. His dad's gun. Where did he get it? I don't know. Somehow he got access to his dad's safe. But how? He puts the pistol up to his head. "You were supposed to stop me," He says. "You were supposed to save me!". He screams and cries as I want to do something but I can't. I have no control over anything. I'm useless. I tried, Eli. I didn't know you would do this. "You gave up on me!" He yells. I didn't give up on you, Eli. You gave up on us. You chose to hide instead of coming to us. That's why you did what you did. You gave up on yourself. "This is your fault!" He yells once more and then pulls the trigger. Everything goes black once more*.
-------------------------
December 22, 2021
It feels like It's been forever since I wrote in you. It's been almost 3 weeks (20 days) that Eli has been in the hospital in a coma. We visit during the weekends to see how he is doing but the doctor keeps saying that it's just a matter of time until he passes. We saw him last weekend and they still said the same thing. His state hasn't changed. He's not getting any better. Keeping him on life support has taken a lot out of his parents and they are using a lot of their money to try and keep him alive. But it doesn't seem worth it. Nothing has changed.

I still keep having the same recurring dream of Eli with the gun in his hand, yelling at me and shooting himself. It's haunting me. Like my mind is constantly telling me what I should've done instead of telling me I tried. I've talked to Mrs. Ross about it, and she was advising me to try and take some medication to help with the nightmares. But what difference would it really make?

I just want to get through this day and get to fucking winter break already. I'd rather stay indoors than be anywhere else. I wasn't expecting this Christmas to most likely end up being somber and depressing, but there are things you just can't control. Life is a mystery = most cases, a living hell.

-Isaac.
-------------------------
It's Wednesday. The day before the start of Winter break. Always the most exciting. Usually. It's a half day because of it so we get out early. I wake up, get changed, and do everything else like It's an every day thing. Just in a different place. I feel like I've lived here forever. Even though I think it's only been a little bit over a month, it feels like home. Getting to see Esther every day is always a win, same goes for her dad, which is like a father figure to me.

Some of these days I'd completely forget the fact that this is only temporary. Or about the reason why I'm here in general. I haven't talked to my mom at all since that one short and stupidly voluntary conversation with her in the hospital. Which I regret even having with her. Even if it was nice telling her to get it off my chest. But I'm not as bad as I was at that time. Time has passed, after all. I'm currently in my room, trying to relax for a little bit. For some reason, I set my alarm to wake me up a half and hour early. Esther knocks on the door.

"Come in!" I say.

Esther opens the door and comes in. She hops on the couch next to me as I'm lying down.

"Almost break" She says.

"Just today," I say.

"Then it's back to lying down and doing absolutely nothing".

She starts to laugh and I look at her, confused.

"You did that for almost two weeks when you first got here" She says.

"Yeah, and I still need to relax," I say.

"It's not like shit has been easy for any of us lately".