CringeFest 2019: The Chaos

Campana II

After the school anthem and the usual, Mrs. Preston steps up. "Good morning, everyone!"

A photographer wearing a Campana shirt crouches next to April, who poses for the shot.

"Hey—"

Dave also rises up. "Yaaaaah... It's SportsFest time. And if I could control SportsFest, I would want... More sports, and more people."

"Oh, that's hot," says Vick. "That's hot."

"Well, are you?" asks Sandee.

"If I ain't what you call a hottie, then I ain't a damn thottie. But you?"

"I—"

"If you're hotter than me, then I'm cooler than you," Ann interjects.

"IN PREPARATION FOR THE LAUNCHING OF SPORTSFEST HOUSES, PLEASE GO TO YOUR RESPECTIVE HOUSES NOW. ALL WITHOUT A HOUSE, PLEASE ENTER IN FRONT. THANK YOU," shouts Mrs. Preston.

Sandee immediately runs to the right side of the gym, along with other Campana house members. She ends up closer to the centre of the gym than most people.

"Hi," says Porcia while drawing some kind of design. Sandee simply waves back.

"Everyone sitting in front, please stand up and move to your house once your name is called," shouts Grayson. "Cangrejo, where are you?"

"ANDALE CANGREJO, DEROTARLOS!"

They changed their cheer?

"Where are the Navios?"

"N-A! TO THE V-I-OOO! LET'S GO NAVIO!"

Navio's sounds much better, too.

"Crucifijo?"

"C! R-U-C! I-F-I! J---O! CRU-CI-FI-JO!"

"And last but not least, a shout out to Campana!"

"C-A! C-A-M! C-A-M-P-A-N-A! CAMPANA! HEY, HEY! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY!"

They saved the best for last, huh?

"House heads of Casa de Cangrejo, please rise up!"

Matt Fleming, the student council president as well as one of Cangrejo's house heads, enters. Two other house heads, namely Georgia Lesley and Rubye Königer, also join him.

Chick boy.

"We are the red crabs of SportsFest, we destroy the rest, and we dominate. And most importantly, we're on our road to becoming the back-to-back winners of SportsFest!"

You're on the road to winning, but you're not gonna make it before we do.

"To all the lucky souls to be sorted into the champion house, please come when we call your name!" Matt announces. "Nadeen Paisley! Allex Polnareff! Cryan Tiers!"

More names you definitely wouldn't remember, though probably should since they're mostly pun-based, are shouted.

"...Simon Giertz, Harry Gillbert..."

Doesn't Ron have a brother who should be sorted in Cangrejo? Pretty sure they just skipped him.

Even more names and shippy references are called out until a quarter of the people in front was missing.

"Thank you, Casa de Cangrejo," Grayson says. "Now, I'd like to call on the house heads of Casa de Campana!"

This is it.

"C-A! C-A-M! C-A-M-P-A-N-A! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY!"

A/N: I've written the Campana spelling cheer enough times by now for autocorrect to immediately change the word "Campana" to "C-A-M-P-A-N-A"

"We are Casa de Campana, the yellow team, and the best team. Wanna know what makes us the best team? We are fighters. Somos Luchadores Campana, everyone. And also, we are a strong and competent team!"

"SOMOS LUCHADORES, CAMPANA! SOMOS LUCHADORES, CAMPANA!"

Remember when Crucifijo was the one that cheered 24/7?

"These are all the lucky ones we would like to welcome into the house of the strong and powerful," shouts Kat. "Raleigh Aussie! Rebeka Dreyfuss! Henrik Lawson!"

Lawson?

Sandee turns her head towards the group of Crucifijo.

"Excuse me, what the fuck," says Ann. "No way there'd be two Henrik Lawsons here. Relatives go together."

Damn, so my instinct was right.

"CAMPANA, LET ME HEAR YOU ONE MORE TIME!"

"C-A! C-A-M! C-A-M-P-A-N-A! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY! SOMOS LUCHADORES, CAMPANA! SOMOS LUCHADORES, CAMPANA!"

They then proceed to Navio, then Crucifijo. Because you readers were most likely to end up betraying your original chosen house and pledging allegiance to these two instead because of Annpril, I'll be a jerk and skip them.

"Leia Johns!" shouts Chinny (Crucifijo). Ann expresses the same face she would as when she sees Jatorade, but less intense, because it's the best thing in the world that could ever happen to her.

Damn.

"C! R-U-C! I-F-I! J---O! CRU-CI-FI-JO! C! R-U-C! I-F-I! J---O! CRU-CI-FI-JO!"

Ah, so they actually have two cheers, but they're really just the same thing, but at different tempo.

"If anyone's name wasn't mentioned, please tell us right away," shouts Mrs. Preston, despite the front of the gym being clearly empty.

Oof.