CringeFest 2019: The Chaos

Crucifijo V

"So, Lakshmi," says Ann. "What sports are ya doin?"

"Cheerdance and merch. Sis, how 'bout you?"

"Frisbee, football. But I don't have cleats and they said they're watering the field with sprinkler fluid, so good luck, me."

"Ouch! At least your shoes aren't white. Good luck, Ann!"

Schedule?

Oh... Frisbee later. And I'll be playing football right before.

"Weather update from the house heads," shouts Leia. "WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SUBS FOR BADMINTON AND THAT'S BAD!"

"Bye," says Lakshmi.

"Hi," says Ykielle. "Wait, what? Isn't that right after like, right now?"

"Yeah, it is. Just rush downstairs even if you already have two sports, I don't care for fuck's sake!"

"Bitch, I'm already in badminton! I think."

"That's allowed?" goes Kim.

"Why wouldn't you wanna sign up for more than 2 sports at once?" bickers Ykielle.

"Leia, you're perfect for badminton!" shouts Ann.

"No I'm not—"

"You have a Dexterity score of 18."

"Roll for Charisma."

"11."

"Hmph, fair enough. Okay, I'll play badminton but it's going to happen off-screen mainly because I'm only being used as a plot device for the Spark who definitely isn't supposed to be the antagonist of this CringeFest book. Oh, and also because most of the spotlight actually goes to Vick when it comes to sports anyway, so this was probably supposed to happen."

"Yeah, that's true about Vick."

"Who the hell is Vick?"

"Oh, I believe you know her better as Dorothy Vicktoria G. Spears."

"Oh, okay."

"Okay, what the fuck is happening," comments Kim.

"Spark shit, obviously," says Ann.

"Oh, shit," Kim replies.

"Uhm, I have badminton things to do," says Leia. "Okay, bye! Have a fun break!"

"Sure, whatever."

"Kim, mind passing me a Jatorade?" requests Ykielle.

"You're really gonna say that out loud with Ann in the room?"

"Oh, shit—"

"Hello," says Kath waltzing into the room.

"Hello," replies Lakshmi magically reappearing into the room.

"When's badminton?"

"Uhm, right now?"

"Shit, really? For mixed?"

"YES, IT'S RIGHT NOW," responds Ann. "Wait, what set are you?"

"Second, I think. Okay, sis, buh-bye!"

Ann makes a gentle wave back, raising her eyebrow.

"Hi y'all," greets Nicole. "When's volleyball?"

Are people coming up here solely to view the schedule?

"When do board games start?"

Probably not.

"BOYZ, WE ARE LACKING ONE PERSON FOR SCRABBLE AND FRISBEE! WE NEED MINUTEMEN RIGHT NOW!" shouts Pat.

"Not right now, did you check the schedule—"

"I don't care, we need more guys."

"Why do we need guys for scrabble?" asks Ann.

"Because we don't have enough guys," Pat replies.

"Why guys and not ladies?"

"Oh for fuck's sake—"

"How many, err, people do we need?" asks Mark.

"Just three or four, if I'm not mistaken. We only have two."

"Then you should've said we needed only one or two more people," said Nicole the mathematician.

"No, his statement was valid. He gave a range of one to two more people, therefore statistically we require an average of 1.5 more players for scrabble," refutes Ann the statistician.

"Just join," commands Ykielle, the engineer.

"No, don't," refutes her twin.

"Why?"

"Because I said so," demands Kim the economist.

"Rip," comments Lakshmi, the unemployed girl. That's because she's just 14, you dum dum

"'KAY, CRUCIFIJO! WE CAN DO THIS!" shouts Kit.

"That's it?" Lakshmi reacts.

"YEAH! WE CAN WIN ALL OUR SPORTS! COME ON, CRUCIFIJO!"

"Sana all," Nicole comments.

Yeah, we definitely have enough viewers from the Philippines for people to actually understand the joke.

"EVERYONE FOR BADMINTON HEAD DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW!"

"I'll head down to watch," Ann replies.

"But... The Jatorade—" stutters Nicole.

"Never said I wouldn't take the time to finish my Jatorade first."

"Oh."

"Enough chapter filler! Finish your food and head downstairs immediately!" shouts Pat.

Ok boomer