CringeFest 2019: The Chaos

Cangrejo II

"Settle down, kids," says Mr. Bass.

"But sir, I don't want to," replies Rainard.

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"Oh, so you don't want SportsFest?"

Rainard sits down.

"Alright. All of you will be signing up for your your SportsFest stuff today," says Mr. Bass.

"What sport are you going to?" asks Martyn, looking behind him.

"I'm not too sure. Either basketball or volleyball, I guess," Vick answers.

"You gotta join basketball again," says Martyn. "If volleyball, can you serve?"

"I'm alright, I dunno."

"Kim?" asks Martyn, looking to his direct right. "Whatcha signing up for?"

"I can't tell you, I don't even know what they added in or removed," Kim replies. "And we aren't even housemates, so stop talking to me."

"Sassy lil' bitches," Martyn mumbles softly.

"I heard that," Kim responds, with her arm up ready to slap him.

"Cangrejo, to 9-A... Campana, to 9-B, and Navio stays here."

"What about us Crucifijo?"

"Chinese room."

A/N: Yes, we actually did have a room specifically for Chinese, just in case some little f(iretr)uck decided they'd fail the class

"Oof," says Martyn.

"You do realise we Crucifijo are the best at Chinese, right?" snaps Teresa. "'Cuz we have the most exposure. I have Chinese relatives."

"Japanese is derived from Chinese," says Kim.

"There are Tsinoys in the Philippines," says Nicole.

"Plenty of my parents' clients come from China," says Taniya.

"I live on the same planet as at least a billion other Chinese dudes!" laughs Wackiene.

"Don't underestimate Crucifijo's manpower, Martyn!" Ann bickers.

"What are we, Russians?" Zeff reacts, tipping his ushanka.

"MOVE TO YOUR RESPECTIVE ROOMS NOW! AND BRING A PEN!"

9A.

Vick enters and immediately occupies the second seat in the first row.

"Gentlemen, please leave the ladies your seats!" Rubye commands. "Can y'all settle down for a moment, please?"

"Vick, what sport will you do?" asks Rea. "Are you going basketball again?"

"Probably."

"You were really good!" Joanne commends. "Do it for us!"

"I wasn't there when we caught up, was I?"

"WHO CARES? YOU'RE AMAZING!" Rea screams.

"We'll see," Vick replies.

"So," says Rubye. "We have six sign-up sheets here. One for basketball, both genders; same for football. We also have one for volleyball, mixed again like last year, and relay; we need only need  two people from both the boys and the girls. We have one for frisbee, mixed. One for badminton, at least three per category. And finally, the last two may be a bit surprising, so listen up: Board games, chess and scrabble. And the last one is for non-sporting activities, First Aid and Merch Team. But for the last two, we will be prioritising them for those who cannot play. If one sport has too many members, we will host tryouts."

"Question," says Khris. "Is Frisbee indoors or outdoors?"

"Outdoors," Rubye replies. "Additionally, all of you have to sign up for two sports, whether it's basketball and chess or Frisbee and First Aid. Speaking of First Aid, please note, even if a Navio falls and gets injured, you still have to help them. You won't have to do much, but your assistance in first aid will still matter as much as your role as a player."

"How about cheerdance?" asks Sadrine.

"The sign ups for that were outside," Rubye answers. "Any more questions, Cangrejos?"

"Nope."

"All varsity players, maximum of two per sports team. If there are two male football varsity on the team, no more are allowed, but they may still sign up for other sports. With that said, varsity players will all sign up first!"

"Which sport?" asks Martyn.

Pro gamer move: Be good at the sport but not sign up for varsity so that when SportsFest comes, you technically have 3 on the team.

"Yes."

So Martyn, Ronald, Iris, and plenty of other people you legitimately don't know and wouldn't care about anyway stand up and sign up.

"Football and volleyball, yo," chirps Martyn.

"Oh, also, unlike last year we'll only have 7 players on the field at a time for football. I'd suggest at least 9 players join football, per team," Rubye adds. "Are all varsity people done? First column, you may sign up now."

Thank God I sat here.

"What sport are you gonna do, again?" asks Joanne, looking at Rea.

"I'll try relay and badminton. You?"

"First aid, and... Basketball, I guess. But I'm sure to stay on the sub bench the whole time."

"It's okay, Joanne! Just do your best!" exclaims Rea. "Karla? How about you?"

"Scrabble and merch team, because I am THE WORST at actual sports, trust me," Karla replies.

"You're going scrabble? Amazing, Karla!" shouts Rea.

What will my sports be?

"Guys, what do you think I should sign up for besides basketball? Merch team?" Vick asks around.

"I don't know," Joanne replies.

"Volleyball! We're lacking good players on volleyball, I assure you!" suggests Iris, who overheard them. "Vick, you know you jump really high, so if you have nothing else in mind, you should go join volleyball!"

Iris Powers. Substitute setter of the volleyball team, first in line if Ykielle can't play.

"You really think so?" Vick responds.

"Go for it!" Joanne and Rea cheer.

Basketball. Volleyball.

I don't know what times they'll happen, but despite my skill, there's an issue with basketball...

My stamina.

If either happens right after the other, it's trouble.

I won't be able to play, first set or first quarter.

That sucks.

But it's my best.

I am a star!