Beautiful Shards (A Drarry Fanfic)

Chapter 9:Harry- Draco's Secret

  There was only a small amount of the thick scarlet liquid on Draco's hand, but it shocked Harry nevertheless. When Draco saw him looking at it, he quickly tried to pull his sleeve back down, but it was too late.
  He took Draco's hand gently in his own, and turned it over. When he carefully pried his fingers open, to his surprise, Draco let him.
  Harry let out a little sigh at the sight of his bloodied palm.
  "Why, Draco? Why did you do this to yourself?", he asked quietly.
  "You're going to make fun of me if I tell you."
  "I won't, I promise." And he meant it. He would not laugh, because even though this was a small injury, Draco had felt the need to hurt himself. He did not find any if this amusing at all.
  "When I heard what they were all saying, I kept thinking about everything I'd done, and about how I would have to face them all, every day at school, and I started having a panic attack. Then I remembered that pain sometimes helped ground me when this happens."
  "So this has happened before?" Harry wasn't sure what this meant, but he knew this was serious. "How long?"
  "Since the war." Draco looked down at his hands, one of which was still in Harry's smaller one.
Suddenly, Harry tightened his grip on Draco's wrist, so he could not pull away. He pushed his sleeve down to his elbow, and gasped.
  There, on Draco's forearm were many thin, white scars, some of which were older, and some that seemed to be pretty new.
  Vibrant green eyes found steel-blue ones, the former of which were filled with shock and sorrow, the latter with tears.
  "I'm sorry." said Draco, since that was his automatic response to pretty much anything now.
  "You have nothing to be sorry for." Harry didn't take his eyes off of the other boy's, trying to convey the fact that he was there for him.
  "Are you okay? When was the last time you cut?"
  "Yeah, and about a week ago. It's also been going on since the war, but I'm trying to do better. It's a pretty hard habit to drop."
  "Believe me, I know." said Harry. The words escaped before he could stop them. His eyes flew open, and he closed his mouth quickly, hoping the other boy hadn't heard him.
  Draco's eyes widened. "Harry..." He grabbed his hand and yanked up his sleeve, the same as he had done to Draco.
  There, on his arm, were the same marks as on Draco's.
  Harry sighed. So far he had done so well at keeping this a secret. Now Draco Malfoy, of all people, had found out about exactly how broken he was. About how all that was really left of him was the shards of something that had once been complete.
  But then he realized- Draco was different now, and not only that, but Draco was going through the exact same thing. Maybe they could help each other.
  "How long?" asked Draco gently, pulling him from his thoughts.
  "Since the war, same as you. Before you ask, the last time was four days ago. I do it less now than I used to. Only when I get really upset." Harry was still reeling from the fact that Draco did this too. He hated that someone was in as much pain as him, especially Draco. Draco didn't deserve this.
  However, when Harry voiced these thoughts, they just seemed to upset him more.
  "I hate upsetting people!" cried Draco. "It upsets you to see me upset and I hate that I make you upset and that I make you feel bad, and I hate causing everyone around me so much pain!"
  Harry's eyes widened in shock.   "Draco..."
  "I'm sorry." said Draco quietly. "I didn't mean to yell."
  "Draco. Draco look at me. It's fine."
  "It's not fine. All of those people out there, they all hate me. I'm trying so hard, but they aren't going to like me, no matter what I do. They all blame me, and they're right. I hate myself, too. I don't blame them. It would be better for everyone if I just disappeared."
  That made Harry angry. None of this was Draco's fault. "Draco! Don't say that! This is not your fault!"
  "Why do you care anyway?! You never have cared before! You didn't care in sixth year when I was having a panic attack in the bathroom! You didn't care when you got me in trouble with my father for letting you escape the manor, so why do you care now?" Draco's voice had risen to a scream, but it was shaking, as though he was trying not to cry.
  Harry stood, stunned, for a second, then said, "Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe you haven't changed as much as I thought you had." With that, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the compartment, slamming the door behind him. All the companionship and understanding they had shared before was gone, leaving nothing but anger between them.

Author's notes: Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. I know the story is moving super slow, but Im really detail-oriented. I'll try to speed the plot up a little. Any comments/opinions would be great. Thanks for reading.