Poem #189

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I'm tired

but not warm tired
where you lay in bed and everything feels sweet and you feel safe and you fade into sleep while your room becomes a blur and you dream of blissful things
I'm not road trip tired either
where the seat belt rubs against your sun kissed skin , and your hair sticks to your face as you sleep on the window and feel the bumps in the road
and I'm not holiday tired
where you go to bed with a smile on your face , full of a home cooked meal, and your parents tuck you into bed , and you know you have something to look forward to in the morning
I'm more of a restless tired
where you wanna sleep but you can't stop thinking
and you start seeing things in the halls because you haven't slept in days
when you drink caffeine like it might save you even if it makes you shake
and you get scared that people might start asking questions ab the long sleeves
where food stops tasting like anything anymore 
I'm more of a zombie tired
where everything feels out of touch
and people stare because of the bags under your eyes
where you get cold and start turning purple
and you have to drag yourself around to get places , because if you don't you know you won't move when that car is coming
im more of a cloudy tired
where you feel like you're not really going anywhere with your day 
and you have to pinch yourself so you don't fall asleep in class
and people ask if you're okay and you just nod your head
and when it rains , and lighting, and the air feels soft even if the sky is loud you give a little half smile , because it makes you feel less alone

I think I might be exhausted
-r.b
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Sorry it's kinda long :(
-Your very own broken girl ❤️

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