The Brutal Attack

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[Cole]

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Kim gave two boxes to look at and disappeared into her bedroom to get herself ready for her meeting.

Mom had given the boxes to Kim a few weeks before she died, I wonder if she knew she was going to die that soon, and want to make sure Dad would get hide of everything.

I sit down on the floor and open one of the boxes full of emotion as the scent of my mom was everywhere inside, she used to make little heart shapes bags and fill up with lavender from our garden, every summer, she would put those little bags everywhere, draws, cupboards and boxes. I try not to cry, but it was hard!

At the top was an A4 album, the title in mom handwriting was: 'Kim & Cole 2&3' inside the cutest pictures ever, most of them just the two of us, playing together, holding hands, sleeping, cuddling... - It was bittersweet, to see... There were notes, again mom's handwriting, telling a story of each picture, some of them really funny, like: 'Cole teaching Kim how to use the potty' ... in the last page both our handprints, mine was blue and Kim's was pink, positioned in way to make a heart shape, with another one of mom's notes: 'A wonderful year together, Kim and Cole, friends forever.'

I pass my fingers over mom's writing, and I felt Kim's hand over my shoulder:

-"I wish I could stay a bit longer with you, but I need to get going, you just stay and enjoy the photographs as much as you want."

I don't want to look at her, because I am about to burst into tears... I thanked her for let me stay, as she is about to leave I look at her, and I see a very different person that was flying in the dragon with me, sure she looks stunning in a very smart suit, in high heels and her rose golden loose locks falling over her shoulders, however something in her eyes makes me worry about her.

I can only guess whatever is going on is having a strong emotional effect on her, I watch her leaving and I go back to the 'time machine', and decide to open the second box.

Inside of the second box I find many scrapbooks, all organised in a precise timeline, inside each of them, lots of old drawings, mom's, Kim's, Pete's and mines, each page has a story carefully written by Mom. As I advance in time I start to find my own handwriting as well as Kim's in little pieces of papers cut in shapes of star and hearts with love notes to each other or to mom or to Pete.

I started thinking why is that I can not remember all those moments, have I really shut out all of this just to not feel the pain of losing mom? - I don't know the answer, I just feel happy now that I have restored my bond with Kim and she is making possible for me to remember all this.

The time passed very quickly, I looked every single album and scrapbook and before I see it was dark outside I got up from the floor put the lights on, and decided I should go, I tidy up the boxes, and carefully placed back where Kim took out from.

As I was about to leave I see in Kim room some sketchbooks on her desk, I went inside to have a look at them. The one she has been working on is an unfinished pencil portrait of a boy, there is a photo just beside, it is Pete's. I started to flick through the pages and find lots of unfinished portraits, sometimes objects, like two daggers beautifully decorated.

Some of her drawings look like self-portraits, however in a very dark mode, sad, hurt, almost desperate... I see myself doing what mom tough me to do, reading the artist emotions beyond the art.

I grab another one, 'my first sketchbook' is the title in the cover, and as I opened I was surprised to find out that the first page is a drawing I did when I was 8, it is the four of us together, into a heart-shaped background, I had written a few words: 'Kim, I thought you might want to have your own sketchbook, then we can practice together. Love Cole. PS. Please don't draw on mine, thanks!" - I laughed at my own writing, I can't remember doing it, but I remember why I did...

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