Pleace Notice Me

Chapter 6

Martyrdom is not really highly recommended, it'll break your heart even more.

"Ann, last day na ngayon ng intramurals eh. Halika na." Pagmamaktol na saad ni Ara sabay hila ng kumot ko.

"Arabella, ano ba. Pumunta ka na kasi, I'm not feeling well." Hinila ko ulit ang kumot at nagtalukbong ako.

"No! I don't believe you. Sabi ni Tatay okay ka lang daw naman." Yuhh, mas close sila kay tatay. Wala na akong mama kaya kami na lang ni tatay ang magkasama. Yung mga kapatid ko, may pamilya na sila.

"Oh God Arabella Fuentabella, can't you go to school without me?" Inis na saad ko sabay pukol sa kanya ng masaman tingin. She just smiled at me.

Bumangon na lang ako at naligo kahit ayaw ko talaga. Pagkatapos kong mag-ayos ay inaya ko na siya agad, di pa nga sana papayag dahil dapat daw ay mag agahan muna ako pero pinapili ko siya. Aalis kami ng hindi ako nag-aagahan o mag-aagahan ako at aalis siyang mag-isa.

Naglakad lang kami papunta sa school, malapit lang naman. Di uso ang tricycle dito sa amin, unless sobrang init or umuulan.

"Promise Ara, if may maririnig na naman akong di ka ayaaya ngayong araw na 'to, ikaw talaga ang mapapatay ko." I glared at her while we enter the campus. Nagsisimula na ang ibang game. I saw Arc in the volleyball court with some of our classmates.

"Ms. Sexytary!" Sigaw ni Carl na nasa canteen pa. Nasa harap lang ng canteen namin ang volleyball court. Napalingon naman sa amin ni Ara ang halos lahat ng tao sa Canteen. Inirapan ko lang si Ara na tumawa sa reaksyon ko.

"Hindi 'yon di kaayaaya. Ang nagsalita nga lang ang di kaayaaya." Natatawang saad ni Ara.

"Shut up. San ba tayo?" Saad ko ng nasa canteen na kami.

"Dito, ichecheer ang team natin. God Ann, last day na ngayon. Enjoy naman natin ang intrams. Don't think about unnecessary stuffs." Sabay irap nito sa panig ni Jane, kasama nito ang iba pa naming mga kaibigan.

"Don tayo sa kanila." Saad ko sabay turo sa banda nila Jane.

"Seriously Ann?! Naiirita ako ha." Inis na saad nito sa akin.

"Oh? What's wrong with sitting together with them. Nandun din sila Tina at Lucy oh." Rason ko dahil talagang ayaw niya dun. This is what I'm talking about. I don't want my friends to take sides. I don't want to cause rift between them. I rather keep my feelings to myself than showing it and making things complicated.

Nang makita kong ayaw pa rin gumalaw ni Ara, hinatak ko na siya papunta sa grupo ng mga girls.

"Hi! Good morning." I greeted them. I know that they feel awkward dahil sa nangyari kahapon but I don't want to tolerate the awkwardness. They greeted me back. I sat down beside Jane. They all looked at us. Nagtaas lang ako ng kilay at tumawa.

"God guys, may problema kayo?" Tanong ko sa kanila. I saw Jane shift uncomfortably. "I'm sitting there, goodness."

Tumayo ako at umupo sa tabi ni Ara na nagmamaktol pa din.

"You're such a masochist, a martyr." Angil niya.

"What?! No, I'm not!" Natatawa kong saad.

"Stop it, I really want to choke you right here, right now." Gigil na saad niya. Tumahimik na lang ako at tumingin sa mga naglalaro, still smiling. Biglang napawi ang ngiti ko ng makitang halos nakatingin lahat sa akin. What's wrong? Napabaling muli ako sa mga naglalaro or should I say, maglalaro. Nagwawarm up kasi sila, but instead of seeing players na nagwawarm up, I saw Carl and Arc in a heated argument. May nakahawak na kay Carl na mga kaklase namin. Ara got shocked too, hindi din nakapagsalita. Arc also is being stopped by some of our classmates.

"Jane, ano ba. Puntahan mo. Now is the right time to play your role. Don't just sit there and look!" Angil ni Ara. She's concerned and worried for sure, cousins niya ang dalawa.

Nag-aalinlangan man, naglakad papunta sa kanila si Jane but when she tried to hold Arc, pumiksi lang ito. I can't hold it anymore kaya tumayo ako at lumapit sa kanila. Nasa likod ni Arc si Jane na takot magsalita.

"Stop it you two! You wanna fight? Get out of this court at this instant or I, myself will tell the committee to disqualify all of you!" I spat angrily.

"Anny-" di ko hinayaang magsalita si Arc. He tried to hold me but I step away from him. I grab Carl's arms and drag him towards the canteen where we are sitting.

"Anny, let's talk please." I feel Arc's hands gripping my arm. I look at him, and muntik na akong matumba ng biglang umamba ng suntok si Carl.

"What the hell Jane! Bring Arc away from Carl, don't just stand there!" I spat angrily at Jane who is just standing there, looking. "Carl, let's go." I grab Carl's arms para di na siya makaamba ng suntok. Kung wala siguro ako sa gitna nila kanina, nagsuntokan na ang dalawa.

Dinala ko muna sa room namin si Carl, sumunod naman si Ara. I saw some of our classmates stopping Arc para di makasunod sa amin. Narinig ko pa ang mga sinabi ni Lucy sa kanya.

"Stop it Arc. You already lose her, don't make things complicated. Don't do things that will drag you more away from her. You won't like it for sure." Inis na saad ni Lucy sa kanya.

Nang makapasok na kami sa room, umupo lang si Carl, with his ragged breathing. Galit na galit talaga to. Di naman to ganito, lalo na kay Arc na pinsan niya na, best friend pa.

"Ang martyr mo Ann! Ang martyr martyr mo." I heard him say curses.

"Carl, please understand. Hindi ako nagpapakamartyr, I'm just doing the right thing para di na maging mahirap pa ang sitwasyon." I calmly said.

"No! You're not making things easy! Hindi namin kayang tingnan na nagpapakabait ka at inaabuso ng mga walanghiyang yon! Yes! Magkaibigan kami pero hinding hindi ko siya papanigan Ann!" Galit na angil niya, pulang pula na siya. Sometimes, napagkakamalang may gusto si Carl sa akin dahil overprotective siya pero no. He just sees me as his little sis. May girlfriend siya, sa kabilang school nag-aaral.

I walk towards him and sit beside him. I hug him and still he's stiff. I know na lambing lang, di na niya ako matiis.

"Big bro, I know you're just thinking about me. But honestly, I'm okay. His words? God, di yun magiging dahilan ng pagkamatay ko kasi kung masasakit na salita lang ang magiging dahilan ng pagkasira ko, sira na sana ako sa dami ng mga salitang hindi ka ayaaya na natanggap ko since birth. Trust me, I'm no saint, but I will do all I can do to make our friendship intact. This is what I've been trying to avoid. All of you guys, taking sides. Arc has this issue of his words, he can't stop saying things that can break people's hearts when he's mad but trust me, nagiguilty siya. He sometimes can't apologize, but most often, he tries. Hindi lang natin siya pinapakinggan. Calm down, I know when to stop, to move away and when to avoid people. Just trust me, when I say I'm okay, I really mean it." After that, I feel so light. Pinakalma na muna namin si Carl bago namin hinayaang makabalik sa court. Nandun na rin si Arc. I saw how Arc tried to approach Carl but Carl just shove his hands, gesturing him to stop. I know, right now, they're not in good terms but just a little time, they will be.

I felt arms around me, and that's when my tears roll down uncotrollably. Ara hugged me tighter. She knows that I'm not feeling well. I'm hurt. Staying friends with the people who hurt you just to make your circle of friends intact is never been easy. Martyrdom, kahit ilang beses kong ideny na ginagawa ko, ay hindi madali. I have to lie to all the people, I have to act strong enough. I have to be extra careful and I have to wear a mask to hide my true color. Martyrdom is really not a good option, it'll break your heart into tiny portions.