Plutonian

Chapter 18

I walk ahead to no where in particular. I don't know where else I can go besides the training room so I head back there hoping Cassandra will not follow but as expected she does. I pull the door open and take a wide step across the threshold but when I see her do the same I stop in my tracks and pull her out with me. 

It seems people have noticed my sleeping arrangements and I do not want to draw unnecessary attention to myself by bringing a paramour into the training center, afraid the others might draw the same conclusion as Leslie had.

Suddenly a palpable hatred for him consumes me and my hands bundle into tight fists by my sides.

"Why are you being so evasive? You have a Plutonian boyfriend. Big deal," Cassandra shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly but her expression is full of disbelief and surprise. 

I know she's shocked and it only makes me want to avoid this conversation even more. 

I dig my heels into the soft stones that divide the walkways in the garden outside the training center. A small asymmetrical fountain stands awkwardly in the middle of the court yard. A trickle of clear water runs down from the top and its stream widens towards the base before it seeps into the ground.

The structure makes me think of myself. The secrets I keep inside bubble up and boil over waiting to trickle out and expose me for who I am. 

A fraud and a sell out. 

I know deep down that this is why I can't bring myself to admit it out loud. I have always hated the Plutonian's and when I joined to be a fighter I never thought I would need to be in this situation to get to where I wanted. 

I think of Lucian's serious face when he reinforced that we were to pretend to be lovers to everyone outside the four walls of his room and I had agreed without thinking of how that would make me look. 

Of how that would make me feel. 

Even though it is a lie, the fact that everyone would soon know that I was "sleeping" with a Plutonian made me sick to my stomach. I jab my foot into the pool of pebble stones and my toe stings slightly at the impact. 

"I am," My throat throbs painfully as I manage to choke out the words and it feels like I have coughed up blood. 

I look up at Cassandra and the surprise on her face seems to have doubled which only makes me feel worse.

"Please don't tell anyone, especially Stela," I cover my face with my hands and sink to the floor not wanting to look at her or anywhere else in particular. "I'll never hear the end of it."

She sits down next to me and clears her throat softly. "There's nothing wrong with having a Plutonian boyfriend. I mean they are better looking that the human boys by ten fold and I'm sure you have a valid reason. He must be very nice."

An image of Lucian smiling warmly as he greets me in the morning with artificial sun light casting an ethereal glow over his silver head flashes before my eyes and I almost agree but then I see him pick up a needle and try to jab it into my eye. 

My left eye twitches at the memory. 

"Yes, I do have a valid reason. You need to believe me. I was never interested. You know," I start to blabber incoherently and my chest feels tight as I wonder why I am trying so hard to convince her.

"Yes, I know at least that much about you. It was always obvious," She shifts her gaze to the same fountain that looks like it is leaning a little to much to the left, it's balance a mystery. "I guess you must really like him. Or he has offered you something valuable."