Plutonian

Chapter 73

My fingers tremble ever so slightly as Lucian guides me gently to our bed after the medical team did a thorough check up on me and practically forced fed me some medicine from Cixin.

He kneels down at my feet and stares up at me looking worried but it feels like I am staring through glass. I'm still wrapped in my bubble of numbness, even though Lucian is right here he feels so far away.

Everything and everyone is so distant. It still hasn't sunk in yet that I will never see Cassandra again. That I just tried to kill Lazarus and failed miserably.

"Aria, I'm so sorry about what happened," Lucian says in a voice filled with disappointment. "I know how much you cared for her."

His voice is earnest, desperate, almost pleading as I watch him try to break through the invisible barrier between us. He squeezes my hands and I look down at him, not wanting to focus on anything else.

The blue in his eyes burn through me like the ice in the south. He is sitting by my feet, holding onto my hands and staring up at me with a vulnerability I've never seen, only felt. Even now, despite everything that has happened he still manages to surprise me.

What would the Plutonians think if they saw their leader kneeling at the feet of a human girl? Why is it that I am thinking about this and not him?

My lips quiver ever so slightly as I feel my walls slowly crumble before the person I love with all my heart. All my hatred and anger dissipates into the air around us like vapor.

Lucian represents everything I hate and yet he is everything I have always desired. Him sitting here like this just further reinforces that he doesn't care about me being human or him being Plutonian. 

While to me he is a Plutonian, he is the Trinity, to him I am just Aria and that is the very thing I love the most about him.

His stare, his touch, his cautiousness, it goes against everything Lazarus wants. It goes against what most Plutonians stand for and it pushes me to finally give in to the despair I've been trying to shut out all night.

A single tear rolls down my cheek and I squeeze his hands back. He looks down at my them cautiously, looking hesitant to move but when I start sobbing loudly he jumps up and pulls me towards him.

I lean against his chest and drown my sorrows against him as every memory of Cassandra bubbles its way up into my mind. Her beautiful face shines as the brightest image in my head and it only makes me cry harder.

She didn't deserve any of this. All she wanted was to be happy. Was it so wrong for us to want to be happy?

"I'm so sorry, Aria," Lucian mumbles again while he strokes my back soothingly and I clutch on to him like my life depends on it.

After awhile my tears finally dry up and I have no energy to cry anymore. My head begins to throb and I suddenly feel like falling into the deepest slumber.

"It's my fault," I croak. I lean back to look at him and he wipes my wet face and nose with the cloth in his hand.

"No, it isn't. We both know who was behind this," Lucian says sternly.

"He only did those things to her because of me. Because he wanted to punish me," I sniffle slightly and Lucian wipes my nose again.

"Yes and he punished you because you are with me. This blame game is not going to help anyone and there's no point in it. You need to rest and take care of yourself now," He stares at the marks around my neck and his face scrunches up in anger. "I know you weren't thinking when you went to Lazarus's place but why would you do such a thing, Aria? You know what he's capable of. What would have happened if I hadn't arrived in time? If I hadn't come with Luna?"