I'M NOT HERE | s.stan

001. i hate roadtrips!

I guess you could say Sebastian took my breath away when I first met him, literally. He tripped and brought me down with him, knocking the wind out of me.

Other than that, I found him quite boring and he was a downer. He was the social type, while I was not. But being the son of a close family friend, he was always around. It's not like he was intolerable, but it was depressing, really. He followed my sister around like a lost puppy dog, even though she clearly did not reciprocate his feelings.

Enter Josh.

To be fair, I liked him first, but he just always had a thing for my sister, Joane. Josh and I had been best friends since high school and that was a long time ago. We are now in junior year and my sister already graduated. There's one thing you should know about Josh. He's dreamy, and popular. Half the girls I know have a major crush on him.

Anyways my name is Katherine Hargrove, but my friends call me Kay. There's nothing much to me, really. I like to read and watch movies. I guess you could say I was your typical girl?

I met Sebastian three years ago, now we're kinda friends. Acquaintances, you could say. Of course as different as we were, there was one thing he and I could both relate to. We wallowed in our unrequited love. He was in love with Joane, I was in love with Josh. And there was nothing we could do about it.

-

"Kay! Sebastian brought takeout!" I heard my sister shout from downstairs. I bookmarked the novel I was reading, We Have Always Lived In The Castle. Going down the stairs, I could already smell the chinese food and my mouth was watering.

Sebastian was taking out the dishes from the cupboards while my sister set the table. I figured I should help so I brought out the drinks. The doorknob to our front door rattled, and in came Josh. "Hey, guys!" He greeted, high-fiving me and my sister. I swooned when he winked at me. Sebastian looked a little uncomfortable around Josh and I rolled my eyes, I found it a bit pathetic that he liked my sister THAT much. It was quite ironic I acted that way, considering I did the feel the same way with Josh. We always had dinner like this, Joane and my apartment. It was convenient because our apartment was right in the middle where Sebastian and Josh lived.

"So, how was class today, Kay?" Joane asked, picking out some lettuce from the salad. I shrugged in response, "It was okay." I quietly said. I wasn't the talkative type, and I was still pretty shy around Sebastian even though we basically saw each other everyday. Joane was my sister, but we were never close because of our contrasting personalities.

I'll have to admit, she did try to bond with me, but I didn't. Mostly because I don't like people and I was extremely introverted when I wanted to be, I guess. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Josh staring at Joane, and it kind of made me jealous. No. Scratch that. It made me SUPER jealous. I gripped the fork and grit my teeth, I almost thought I bent the silverware.

"So, Mom and Dad want you and I to visit them in Seattle - for the summer." Joane says. I knew this was coming. We didn't like our parents that much, they were judgmental and condescending.

"Okay..." I say, suggesting her to continue. She gives Sebastian a look, before turning towards me.

"You know I have that work expedition. I can't go, I already told Mom."

I groan internally, and sigh.

"So I'm going alone? Seriously? I hate road trips, you know that!" I say childishly. To be fair, I was still a teenager.

"Kay," my sister says in her usual calm, patient Joanne voice. She was much older and 'wiser' than me. From that tone of her voice, I knew she was going to lecture me.

I look up from my chicken chow mein, and mutter out a small 'what?'

"You're almost eighteen now, I'm sure it'll be nothing for you. It'll only take a day to get there."

A day? God. First of all, I hate driving. Second of all, I hate driving. Third of all, I HATE DRIVING! At least I'll be alone?

"Well, if you're feeling lonely, I asked Sebastian to come along with you. Since he's not busy and all." Joane says to me, putting a hand on Sebastian's biceps. I can see him blush, it's almost embarrassing.

'Oh. Great.' I think to myself as I stab a piece of chicken with my fork.

Don't get me wrong, Sebastian's friendly and all. But sometimes, for an unknown reason, he and I tend to be awkward around each other. Maybe it's because he knows I like Josh, and I know he likes Joane.

"Yeah, I mean. I haven't seen Mr. and Mrs. Hargrove in a while." Sebastian adds, nodding along to everything my sister says.

I notice in the whole conversation, Josh was silent. "What about Josh? Can he come?" I ask, trying me best to look convincing. Josh shakes his head in response, "The football team has a game that day, they gotta depend on their captain!" He proudly announces, referring to himself. No one else saw it, but Sebastian rolled his eyes ever so subtly.

I sadly nod and rest a hand on his shoulder, "Tell me if you change your mind, okay?" Josh just gives me a toothy grin, making me swoon.

-

After dinner, I plop on the couch to watch some Netflix with Josh. He was sleeping over tonight, and I was excited for that. We were curled up on the couch with our respective blankets, and watch  Die-Hard. I honestly had no idea what was going on, but every time I look at him, he seems so engrossed in the movie I can't help but endure through the cliche fight scenes and hot women.

"Hey," Josh says suddenly. I turn to him from the TV.
Gosh, he was adorable. I could just kiss his face all da-

"Do you know why Joane didn't tell me to go on the trip with you?"

He sounds...sad, almost. Maybe even jealous. I think he didn't like the fact that Sebastian was the first person to come to mind when Joane thought about my companion for the trip. I shake my head, twisting my lips in weird shapes as I sigh.

"No, not really. Relax. I'm sure it's just because she wants to spend more time with you." I reply, absentmindedly. I watch him turn back to the TV, a satisfied smile on his face.

"Wow, that really made me feel better. Thanks, Kay." He tells me, satisfied and grinning to himself.

"No worries." I say, shutting my eyes. I probably shouldn't have given him hope.