I'M NOT HERE | s.stan

027. wrapped around my finger

"God. I'm finally home." I say as I collapse onto my bed, still in my coat. Tiffany scoffs, "Did you see the way your sister was flirting with Sebastian? God, I want to gouge my eyes out with a fruit fork."

I laugh, "Don't be absurd. They're just good friends."

"Dude," She looks at me in disbelief, "Joane's trying to take your man. And you're here doing what? Napping?"

"We're sisters, Tiff. I don't think she'd do that to me." I say, throwing a pillow at her. She catches it with one hand effortlessly.

"Yeah, whatever. Remember senior year when Kelly caught her making out with your prom date?"

I roll my eyes, "Other than that incident. I don't want to talk about it." I reply, undressing into more comfortably clothes. She scoffs, "She sucks."

"Not to mention she's my sister. So there really isn't anything I can do about it, man."

"But if you really like him, then you wouldn't be jealous."

She was doubting me. And she had every right to. Sebastian and I never showed affection to each other. He didn't even stop Josh from kissing me.

"Tiff?" I call out. She turns to me. "What?"

"Maybe there's something I should tell you."

So there I sat, for a full hour, explaining everything to Tiffany in explicit detail. I didn't leave a single thing out. Not the kissing, the contract, the confession, nothing. She stayed emotionless the entire time, trying to take everything in all at once. This information was entirely new to her. I wasn't sure how she was going to react, but I didn't expect her to smirk.

"Shit, Katty. He's in love." She concludes. A hysteric smile spreads across her face.

"Huh? Who?" I ask, the gears were twisting in my brain.

"Both of them. You've got both of em' wrapped around your finger."

And after all the books, tests, and studying, who knew Tiffany could figure this out before me? I felt like a fool. Hell, I was a fucking fool. She was right, and I had just came to the realization that I had this situation under control the moment it even started. I just needed to open my eyes.

"Holy shit."

-

It took me a long time to process it, but as soon as I did, I was amazed to the core. The signs were all there. The jealousy, the fighting, then tension.

Maybe Josh was in love with me. But definitely not Sebastian. It was just infatuation, I was sure of it. Wouldn't you start having tender feelings towards someone you've been pretending to date too? Having to spend all your time together everyday. But when it's over and done with, you'll realize that you were never in love. You don't even know anything about them.

I knew little about Sebastian, and I was sure that he knew absolutely nothing about me, too.

"Josh, sure. Why not. Sebastian? I don't think so. He's got the hots for Joane."

Tiff rolls her eyes, "That tramp?"

"Hey! Chill." I say with a laugh.

"God, she always gets what she wants. And I'm sick of it! I hate it." She says, and the room goes silent for a moment. I can only hear the birds chirping outside and the slow, prolonged breath from my air conditioner.

Suddenly, Tiffany snaps her fingers. "Let's do something about that. Fuck her. You like Sebastian, don't you?"

I shake my head, but a part of me wanted to scream 'yes.'

"So you like Josh."

I nod.

"Alright. Let's fuck with her. Break up with Sebastian. Show him off in front of her. Joane only wants what she can't have. That's why she doesn't want either of them. She knows they are both in love with her. I think."

I tilt my head to the side in confusion. "I don't get what you're saying."

Tiffany takes out her pink lighter and a cigarette. She rushes to open my window. I watch as she lights the cigarette, carefully. Then, she takes a long drag.

"Show her that they're both yours."

I chuckle a little, not out of humor but out of confusion.

"Tiffany, I know you hate her. But she's my sister. And I'm sorry but I think I need more time to think about it. This is wrong."

Tiffany scoffs, "Are you kidding me? I had a plan and everything." I shrug, unsure of what to say. All I knew was that I disappointed her. And I hated disappointing people.

"Whatever. I get it. I don't mind." She responds. Thank god. Tiffany finished the rest of her cigarette as I stare in silence.

"I gotta get going." She says, but before she leave, Tiffany lingers at the doorway.

"If you change your mind. Call me." She says before blowing me a kiss. I wait until I hear my front door shut, and then I collapse on my bed. Tonight, I have a lot of thinking to do.