I'M NOT HERE | s.stan

023. treat her better

I began to believe Sebastian didn't really even like me, like he said he did. It all started with the harsh, curt, and dismissive demeanor projected towards me that morning. The day before we were supposed to go on the trip. He had agreed to go, so did Joane and Josh. Though Joane only went because Sebastian was going, and Josh only went because Joane was going.

I asked him if he wanted to get breakfast, and he replied with a simple 'sure.' I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie, he replied with a 'sure.' and later that afternoon, everytime I asked him for his opinion, he'd reply with a 'sure.'

Not only that, but we had only spoken a total of 478 words to each other. I kept count. To me, that wasn't a lot. Normally we'd go over a thousand.

I don't know why I count words. I just do. Maybe it's because I want to see if it ends on an even number, or an odd. I like it especially when it ends exactly on numbers like 1000 or 420. Mostly because I like those numbers. 69 isn't bad either, though i don't think anyone can go through the day saying only 69 words.

"Are you good?" I ask him, stupidly. I knew he wasn't good. Sebastian only nods, and I know my answer. But that wasn't enough.

"I think I should get packing. For the trip." I say abruptly, and stand up. Once I get to my room, I groan in my pillow. What was wrong? I hated not knowing things. Anyways, I push the ugly thoughts out of my head and get to packing.

Neatly and carefully, I place all my clothes in one part of the baggage, and my toiletries in the other. In an hour, I was done. I was contemplating on whether or not I should bring some nice clothes, but just for safe measure, I throw them in.

"Can't believe you are going to be twenty two soon." Josh says from the doorway of my room. I turn around almost immediately.

"Oh! How'd you get here?" I exclaim in surprise. He seems a little disappointed at my response, but brushes it off and something glimmers between his fingers.

"You gave me a key forever ago, remember?" He laughs, his pearly whites shining off from my bedroom light.

I don't reply, and turn around to continue packing.

"Oh, right. I almost forgot about my birthday."

Josh scoffs lightly, "How could you forget about your own birthday?"

I never really celebrated my birthday anymore. When I was a kid, sure, it was a big thing. Now it's just another date. Josh was different, he loved feeling special. And maybe that's why he liked Joane. She knew how to make people feel...special.

"Let's celebrate it this time." Josh whispers behind my ear, making me shiver. Why was he so close to me?

"Ummm..sure."

I jolt away from him, and smile nervously. He shrugs subtly, I could tell he wanted more. What the hell was going on?

First, Sebastian tells me he kinda likes me. And now Josh is getting all flirty. Did I actually drink a love potion or something?

"Anyways, I brought dinner, do you want dumplings?" He asks me. I nod enthusiastically, mostly because I wanted him out of my room. God, my heart was about to jump out of my chest.

Joane came over once she got a text from me saying everyone was here. And she brought some nice pastries from the bakery, that was enough to coax me out of my room.

But the god did I hate the uncomfortable silence lingering in the air as we all ate.

I know we all wanted to say something, but it's like our mouths were glued shut. Our lips clamped together like star-crossed lovers. This was the calm before the storm.