After dinner, Sebastian and I drop Chris off at his house. We decide to drive around for a bit, but the silence in the air seems uncomfortable, unbearable, even. I don't realize how stupid it sounded, but I had almost believed that Sebastian was...jealous? The chemistry I had with Chris probably made him feel like a third wheel. He drove the car, lips pursed, and knuckles white as he held the steering wheel.
"Seb?" I say, but it comes out as a question. My words snap him out of his gaze. He replies with a 'Hmm?' I bite my lip. "You good?" I ask him. He nods, and looks at me to say something, but stops. After a pause, he sighs. "I'm - I'm good."
"Okay." I reply, "Just making sure."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, you seem a little antsy."
"I'm not antsy!"
"Mhmm."
"Really - I'm not fucking antsy."
"Okay, okay! Jeez."
Sebastian massages his temples after he stopped to say something. "I'm sorry...it's just - it's nothing." I nod to show my understanding. My intuition was telling me this conversation was going to escalate.
He shuts up again, but the vein almost popping out from his temple showed me just how much he was trying not to say something. I turned back my window and pretended to stare out, but really I was just waiting on him to explode.
"Do you think you could ever like me?"
I hear the sentence, I knew he'd say something like that. But I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was. Slowly, I turn my head to face him.
His lips are pursed, and his eyes stare straight ahead. He's afraid to look at me. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "Huh?" I say, and quite stupidly so. He swallows, "Do you..think you could like someone like me?"
I laugh to cover up my nerves, "Sebastian, you're wonderful. I'm sure a lot of girls like you."
"No." He says almost immediately. "Like do YOU think you could like me?" I shut up, and stay silent for a moment. "Why are you asking me this now?" I question. He shrugs a little, mouth opening and closing as if he's searching for a valid answer.
"What if...over this fake relationship we have-what if...I said I like you? Like real feelings." He says, his head was still focused on the road, but his eyes darted in my direction every now and then."
I sigh, and my brain struggles to process what he had just said to me. "I guess so? I don't know what I'm feeling right now - about you, about us."
He nods to show me he understands. "What about Joane?" I ask, because I suddenly realize this whole 'fake relationship' thing has just gone to waste. "What about her?"
"Well, this whole thing was supposed to make her jealous." I say while laughing a little. He shrugs again, "I don't know. I just kinda like you now. I guess."
Kinda?
"Seb, I can't give you a straight answer now. Just give me time." I tell him as I roll my eyes a little.
"You know I hate waiting." He replies bluntly.
"Okay, then how am I supposed to-"
"But if it's for you, I guess I can wait."
YOU ARE READING
I'M NOT HERE | s.stan
Fanfiction"we were in love as long as the song lasted" in which sebastian and kay start fake dating to get the attention of their respective crushes, but things don't always go as planned. [sebastianstanau]
