Rainy Madness

Chapyer 30

We have a good day spent well. The morning show was a bit of a shaky part to start our day but it ended well and we do clear all the things they were accusing us.

Even though how scared Rain is beside me I comforted her and calmly answered every questions that they gave us. She's a bit shaky kapag may tanong na talagang alam kong mahihirapan siyang sagutin kaya kung hindi niya kaya ay inuunahan kona ito agad.

It all happens so fast kahit na tumagal kami sa studio nun. At least we know to our selves na naibahagi na namin ang kwento naming dalawa and to clear everything on our side. We do accomplish one of the things na gumugulo sa buhay namin and I hope maayos din naman lahat. The sooner the better ika nga nila.

Right after the we bid everyone a good bye nag tungo na kami for brunch kasama ang nanay at kapatid nito. They were so glad that it went well at natuwa naman sila sa mga sagot namin. They even asks us about the trip that we did kaya punong puno ng kasiyahan ang table namin nun.

Hinatid kona rin naman si Rain sakanyang bahay after namin kumain and I stayed with her dahil parang napagod din ako sa nangyaring interview. Binuksan din namin agad ang aming social media at nag kalat na ang positive vibe patungkol sa mga naging sagot namin kanina.

"thank you Rav... thank you kasi kasama kita kanina... kung ako lang siguro ang nandun baka hindi ko kinaya yung mga tanong nila sakin"

"I won't let you face them alone baby... kahit ikaw lang ang naimbitahan I will be still by your side" ngiti nitong sakin.

"grabe yung nangyari satin kanina... napagod ako" sandal nito sa balikat ko at yumakap pa ito sa aking braso. Natutuwa talaga ako pag ganto siya kalambing sakin. I rested my head naman on hers.

"napagod din ako sa totoo lang. it made my blood boil when they ask if we really cheat. And thanks God napigilan ko ang sarili ko" hagikgik naman nito sa aking braso.

Mukhang napagod nga ata talaga siya dahil naka tulog din ito agad sa akin. Inayos ko naman na ito ng higa sa may sofa at hinayaan ko siyang makapag pahinga roon.

She is fucking calm right now. At sana mag tuloy tuloy na para matigil na ang pag hihirap nito. Isa nalang naman ang kanyang haharapin kung saka-sakali. It was Nathaniel to be exact at matatapos na lahat ng iyon pag nag karon na sila ng closure.

But right now I have to leave her. I scheduled a talk to Brianna and for once and for all sana matapos na ang issue namin at matulungan ko din siya sakanyang problema. She accepts my invite at sa bahay niya nalang ako pupunta so if she gets mad and shout at me kami lang ang makakarinig.

I kissed Rain on her cheeks bago umalis and just left a note beside her. Nag tungo narin naman ako agad sa bahay ni Brianna and she was just at her home doing something habang naka bukas ang t.v.

"did you watch the show?" bungad ko agad dito pag ka upo ko.

"I did. Hindi ko pwedeng palagpasin yun... especially I'm involve" ngisi pa nito sakin.

"so did we clear up everything that you wanted to know?"

"yeah! But still I didn't expect it to myself that I do comfortable accepts the answers that you both say" saka naman na ito nag ligpit ng mga gamit na nasa kanyang harapan.

"is there any chance... na... bumalik ka... I mean tayo... yung dating tayo" nabigla ako sa tanong niya. I know how she wants me back in her life. Pero alam kong sa sarili ko na tapos na ako doon.

"you know that I did love you right... despite of all the mood swings that you're having... I do endure everything... I explained it to you before... and it was a tiring relationship and it's not healthy for us if we continue it"

"then why did you ask me to marry you?"

"because I thought we'll work it out... akala ko kasi kaya kopa dahil minahal kita... but I guess it won't work that way... na parang tinutulak ko nalang ang sarili ko na maging maayos tayo" ngisi nito sakin pero may mga luha na sakanyang mata at alam kong pinipigilan niya lang din ito.

"is it really hard to be with me? At ganun ka napagod?... we've been together for almost two years... I know how you endure my anger issues at ang pabago bago ko ng isip... akala ko lang kasi love reigns kaya siguro hindi ko lang napansin na sumobra na pala talaga ako... I'm sorry Ray" iyak na nitong sabi sakin.

"accept everything that you have Bri... I tried to be with you until the rest of your life but I will not be happy if I continue it at baka hindi maging maganda ang pagiging pag kasal natin sa isa't isa... I can't just be with you dahil yun ang tama... marriage is sacred and it was suppose to be full of love and endurance... pero you've been too much kahit hindi pa tayo kasal... at kapag lumalala yun when we're both tied up at doon ako napagod? Mas mahihirapan lang tayong dalawa... and I know that you're not happy with me either Bri... takot kalang sabihin yun pero nararamdaman ko na may ibang nag papaligaya sayo. I'm sorry as well if I let you go... I'm sorry if I gave up but it's the right thing to do" tango tango nito sakin habang nag pupunas ng luha.

"you're right... I'm just scared enough to accept that I'm literally happy with someone else... dahil pangit tignan... I was hurt sa totoo lang ng sabihin mo saking kasal ka sa iba... I didn't let you explain and just accused you and Rain being a cheater... and sorry for ruining the both of you... I didn't think before to do those mean things... and I actually accepts that you let go this early. So thank you Ray... Sa lahat lahat... Siguro in time pag pare-parehas na tayong maayos. I will apologies personally to Rain" tango naman ang binigay ko rito.

A proper talk in a right time is the key for you to be happy and not to hold on to any grudges. The sooner that everything will be fixed, the better na magiging magaan ang pakiramdam mo at alam mong wala kanang iisipin na ibang taong nasasaktan o masaktan mo.

Napaka hirap pa maging bitter sa isang bagay o tao. Kasi para mo naring sinabing bitter ka kasi hindi kapa naka move on or hindi kapa rin nakapag patawad kahit hindi naman nila hingiin yun.

It was easy to forgive rather than to forget pero paano mo nga naman makakalimutan yun kung hindi mopa napapatawad? Tapos na siya, in time na mapatawad mo siya tatawanan mo nalang ang kalokohang nangyari sa buhay mo in the future. Kasi alam mong napatawad muna siya at nakalimutan na. memories don't fade away that fast but memories will give you lessons and you will learn from it in any kind of way.

Sarili mo din naman ang nag desisyon na mangyari ang mga bagay na yun. Like for me on how I hurt her feelings even if it's not that intentional. But I forgave myself to that dahil kahit anong gawin kong paraan masasaktan at masasaktan siya. Nakaka guilty but I know in time that this day will happen at eto na nga iyon.

Even though she cried in front of me alam kong gumaan din ang pakiramdam niya sa pag uusap namin. And true to what I said alam kong kahit siya ay pinang hahawakan nalamang din ang aming relation dahil sa ito ay tama para sa tingin ng lahat.

Pero hindi niya napapansin that she is driving me away. It's her way maybe or hindi niya lang din sinsadya dahil hindi niya parin matanggap na masaya siya sa iba at hindi sakin na karelation niya.

But now that we clearly ended everything between us, I was happy. My feelings now are light and a sign of being in a right mind to prove myself to Rain. Nag hohold padin kasi ako kahit papano dahil nga iniinda kopa rin sa isip ko si Brianna. Pero tapos na siya. Kaya hindi narin ako nag tagal doon at binalikan si Rain sa bahay nito.

But when I went inside I saw Rain with Nathaniel kissing each other... and I just walked away... in pain...