Rainy Madness

Chapter 31

I woke up heavily dahil sa sakit ng ulo na aking naramdaman. Nilalagnat nga ata ako kaya sobra siyang masakit. Pag ayos ko ng aking higa ay may natamaan naman akong kung ano sa aking gilid. It was a note.

‘I’ll leave you for a while to get rest. Be back in your arms later baby. Don’t miss me much. I love you…
J-R’

Napangiti din naman ako pag kabasa nito saka naman na dahan dahang tumayo. Kinumutan pa ako nito kaya inayos ko nalamang sa aking tabi. Pag bangon ko ay dahan dahan naman akong nag lakad papuntang kusina saka kumuha ng gamot at ininum agad iyon.

Nag luluto na ako ngayon ng noodles dahil nakaramdam nadin ako ng panlamig. I’m still wearing my dress from earlier kaya siguro ganto rin ako kung lamigin lalo na at masama ang pakiramdam ko.

Bumalik naman ako muli ng sala pag ka luto ko noon at doon kinain habang nanunuod ng palabas. After I finished it I drank my water saka muling humiga. Hindi pa man ako nakakaayos ay may pumasok na kung sino sa may pinto. Inakala kong si Rav ito ngunit pag harap ko ay si Nathaniel ito.

“how did you get in?” dali dali akong naupo sa aking pwesto at naging alerto. Luminga pa ako sa paligid at walang nakita na kahit na sino.

“I won’t harm you Rj. I just want to talk… I inform tito Raul about it kaya pinapasok ako ng security mo” tango ko naman dito saka nilahad ang upuan sa aking kaliwa at doon na ito na upo.

“are you sick? You look pale”

“a little… but I’m fine… why are you here?”

“I saw your interview earlier… and I just want to talk to you”

“okay… what is it?” kalmado kong tanong dito kahit pausan pa ako.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you the last time I went here… your parents broke the engagement… and I didn’t hear any explanation to that, that’s why I’m so mad” tango ko rito.

“I went to you as soon as I land from the airport… I know how sick you are that time and my mind didn’t even think before shouting at you… then right after I received a restraining order, I felt bad about after because of what I did… I gave you space and didn’t even bother you dahil inayos ko din ang sarili ko… and think of a reasons why you did it… pero lalo lang nagulo ang utak ko… I was drunk the last time kaya wala ako sa katinuan noon but it’s not an excuse for me… I wanted to apologies for every bad things I did for you Rj. I didn’t intend to do it pero alam kong hindi kona mababago pa iyon”

"It’s fine Nathaniel… it was in the past and I’m sorry as well dahil hindi na nagawa pang makapag usap tayo about our issues” ayos ko sa aking sarili.

“but for your peace of mind… it was a decision made by my family… and I do respect that kasi I know that I should be the one to do it pero takot ako… you manipulate every move I want to do or I did… ang daming bawal at nasasakal ako dun… I felt freedom right after you went away… kaya hindi ko na halos iniinda yun at binibigay ko ang buong ako kapag umuuwi ka… pero still I will go back to being your Rj the way you wanted it… and it is not right even I answered yes on your proposal… maybe because I do love you that time but not fully… kasi ramdam ko nanaman na mas mahihirapan ako kapag pinag patuloy ko yun… and when my parents knew everything that you’re doing… doon na sila na galit… hindi sila nakielam sakin sa lahat ng desisyon ko… dun lang… and it felt good to me… and I’m sorry as well… I know how hurt you are Nath pero kahit anong gawin ko alam kong masasaktan ka kahit ako pa ang nag putol nun” tango nito sakin.

“I’m that bad no?” sarkastiko pang tanong nito pero natawa lang din naman kami parehas.

“I didn’t realize na nasasakal na pala kita at nababago. I do love you just the way you are… hindi ko alam na ganun na pala ang ginagawa ko para sa relation natin… and I know that you’re having second thoughts on answering me pero thank you dahil inisip mopa din ata na wag tayong mapahiya ng oras na yun” ngiti ko rito.