46 - Acting Up

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"What the actual fuck," Louis speaks aloud, eyeing his boyfriend. "are you doing here?"

"Louis." Mr. Ruben snaps, not realizing that the curly-haired man in front of them is Harry. How he could not is beyond Louis.

"Hii." Harry waves at Louis with a smirk.

"Harry. Stop this." Louis commands, not ready to see Harry make a fool of himself.

"Give him a shot..." Lauren drags.

"Slate yourself."

"Harry Styles." Harry says, looking into the camera and then winking at Louis.

"He can't act..." Louis whispers to Lauren, who laughs.

The next thing Louis knows, Harry is doing some kind of skit where he's being two different people.. he brought a fake mustache and was putting it on when he was one character, taking it off when he's the other. Louis is facepalming, how is it even possible for someone to be that bad at acting? Even for a YouTuber, Harry just sucks. Terribly.

When his time is up, he takes a lengthy bow, and throws a cheeky smile in Louis' direction.

"Thanks... for that." Mr. Ruben forces a smile. "We'll let you know if we want you to come back."

Louis is shaking his head, putting his fingers to his throat and dragging them across.

Harry swaggers out, and in a few moments the next auditionee walks in.

"You're fucking with me." Louis sighs at blonde that enters.

"Who's this, now?" Lauren asks, a small smile sitting upon her face.

"This is Niall, my cookie mate." Louis introduces him.

"Your... cookie mate?"

"Yeah, long story. Anyway, he can't act for shit, either."

"This is a skit I like to call... 'Where we going today Mark?'."

When Niall starts, it seems he's pretending to be a man named Mark... a man named Mark who can think of sayings for many big cities.

"Houston! Houston! We do not have a problem!" Niall calls out, using a voice that sounds quite rounded. "Chicago! Chicago! Windy and pizza pie!"

This goes on for far too long, and the casting official rolls her eyes before sending Niall away.

Louis is almost expecting it when Liam walks through the door. What he's not expecting, however, is the bright blue wrestling suit that says "The Payne Train" on it.

"You know him?" Lauren asks when Louis begins to crack up.

"I set him up with his boyfriend." Louis nods, still proud of himself for that. Really, who wouldn't be?

Liam reenacts a wrestling match, and it's quite awkward seeing as he's doing it alone.

Louis wonders to himself, when did these boys think of all this? Was it this morning? Or perhaps a week ago? Or maybe they've had it planned for longer. Maybe they always knew that they'd try out for Louis' movie.

Liam is trying to put himself in a headlock when his time runs out, and he's sent out with looks that give the impression they think he should be sent to a mental hospital from everyone but Louis.

When the next person walks in and it's a girl, Louis asks, "Where's Zayn?"

No one responds, but as Louis gets a closer look at the female in front of him... "Oh shit."

"Slate yourself." someone says, so the woman looks in the camera and says, "Veronica Malik."

"No, no. No!" Louis is laughing so hard that tears are falling. His best mate, dressed as a girl! "You- You aren't."

Zayn- er, Veronica smirks in response, then starts to talk about the problems of being a girl. ("My hair keeps getting stuck in my lip gloss!")

The other three people in the room don't quite know what's going on, or why Louis is laughing so hard. As far as they know, this is just some chick with really shitty acting skills. So far from the truth...

When Zayn leaves, Louis tells the others who he really was. Mr. Ruben is impressed, saying he would like to see Zayn back. Louis snorts.

The rest of the auditions are uninteresting in comparison, and just before Louis thinks he could fall asleep, they're done for the day.

"You don't have to come tomorrow." Lauren tells, walking Louis out.

"Okay." Louis replies. What he's really thinking about is what he's going to say when he gets back to the hotel.

Lauren just nods, continuing to walk alongside Louis. "I like you." she states.

"Huh?" Louis is snapped out of his daze.

"I like you. Not, like, the middle school way. I don't have a crush on you or anything. But you're cool. A good person."

"Hah, thanks." Louis replies with a smile. "You're pretty cool yourself. I mean, besides the whole James Bond fail thing when we first met."

Lauren facepalms, "I'm an idiot."

"Maybe." Louis teases, getting to the door. He bides Lauren a goodbye before stepping outside, and hailing a taxi.

He used to think he was to short to hail a cab, but he was being stupid. Anyone can step out into the road and get a car's attention.

When he gets back to the hotel and is even at his room, he still hasn't quite fathomed what happened today. Maybe the boys inside will be able to explain.

Louis slips the key into the door, and inside sits no one. Confused, Louis knocks on the other boys' doors. No one answers. So, he concludes, they must be out in the city. Without him, though. Meanies.

Louis shoots Harry a text,

Where you at? I'm back at the hotel. 

and then goes and lays down on the bed, clicking on the telly. His phone buzzes beside him a few minutes later.

/Somebody/ decided he needed to take a piss in the middle of the road. He's not even drunk! We're at the jail being questioned for public nudity.

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my cat crawled onto the keyboard while i was writing this smh

okay i was wondering if i had a huge wedding and i just married everyone who showed up who of y'all would come and get hitched with me?? i'll marry all of u bc you're all baes.

um so who do you guys think peed in the middle of the road??

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