Coming Out

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Just dipped. Again!

Won the last point, won the game for his team and then bounced.

I wasn't sure if he just wasn't interested in a date even though I was mildly joking about him letting me win. Or if he was playing hard to get.

Shit was starting to get frustrating.

By the time we left the beach the sun was setting. I was distracted but I still remembered Damario taking me to Jon's Pizzeria for the first time, KJ tagging along. Now we sat at Damario's shooting the shit before bed.

"Aiight y'all, see y'all later," KJ said before giving us both dap and leaving.
"That was the most fun I've had in a long time," Damario said from the kitchen.
"Same," I said but my mind was elsewhere.

I knew nothing about this guy. Yeah we've talked but about nothing really. It was all just flirting. Why couldn't I grasp this guy? Was he even trying to get to know me? It seems like he's trying to play the run around. The next time I run into him, because I'm more confident now in knowing I could run into him again, will be the last, no more games. I either need a date or his number, something.

"What are you thinking about?" Damario says while sitting down next to me on the couch.
I sigh and lay my head back.
"He did it again."
I didn't even have to explain myself. Damario looked right at me.
"Why do you care so much about this dude?"

I exhaled. Before I could say anything my phone started vibrating. I looked at it and saw Jackie's name pop up. I cringed a little too hard and hung up the call. Funny, I guess. I'm about to tell Damario about why I care so much right when my ex girlfriend calls.

"I like him," I confess.

My voice was barely above a whisper but it was already quiet in the room. Nothing else was said after my confession but when I looked over at Damario he was staring at me long and hard. I couldn't read his expression but it was a serious one. But then he changed positions and his head tilted, while still looking at me. It was almost like he was seeing me in a new light.

"I didn't even know you rowed that way."
I chuckled. He sounded slightly amused.
"Wait. Hol' up, hol' up."

I laughed while he readjusted himself on the couch. He stares back at me again with a questioning expression.

"You like niggas?"
I laughed out loud.
"Sometimes," I said once I calmed down. "It's rare that I do find a guy I like."
"But you be checking out niggas?"

I couldn't help but chuckle again, he sounded so confused, intrigued and amused all at the same time.

"Actually, not really."

It's weird. I'm aware that I do like guys but, I don't know, I don't really dwell on it or maybe I'm not running into any guys I find attractive. Except for Tahj.

"I'm confused, nigga."
"I bet you are."
"You sound confused too!"
I laughed.
"Nah, I felt something with Tahj, so that tells me enough."
Damario was still studying me with one corner of his mouth turned up.
"Okay," is all he says. "So, ya boyfriend dipped on you again?"
I shoved him as hard as I could.
"Maybe he's just not that into you," he says while laughing and using that nasally voice.
I punched his arm which only made him laugh louder.
"You ain't shit, man."
"I'm sorry. Sorry, shit's just funny."
He goes to stand up.
"C'mon, lets celebrate your coming out."
"So help me please, D," I said in a laughing tone.

He laughed while jogging into the kitchen, most likely to get away from me before I punched him again.

That night I went to sleep on that couch and dreamt about Tahj. We were on the beach again. It doesn't even feel like we were for real on the beach earlier today. But in the dream I couldn't tell if we were hanging out before or after the volleyball game. We were in the water though and I was sort of teaching him how to swim. It felt so real by the time I woke up the next morning.

"Girl! You know I couldn't have that nigga staying up in my house."

This was how I met Dana'i.
She couldn't have been older than 19 and I could tell she was on the immature side of 19. But I happened to notice the smirk on the receptionist face.

"Ahhhhh, she knows how to interact with people," I joke.
She didn't like this and her look turned cold again. I only grinned back.
"Who are you?" Dana'i asks.
"Leslie, the new Program Coordinator for group C. I take it you're Dana'i."
She nods and shrugs almost unimpressed that I guessed right.

It was the next day at work and sure enough they expect me in at 9 o'clock but it was the hour now for the staffers to come in. The day actually flies by, before I know it it's 1:30. I was coming from my office to the receptionist when I noticed her standing at the desk.

"Did Brie give you my message?" I asked her with an air of professionalism.
She looks off to the side, trying to think hard. Right off the bat I didn't like her attitude.
"Most likely but can you refresh my memory."
I snorted.
"Sure thing," I say. "From now on if you plan on being late or out either text me or email me. I'll give you my number and email before you leave tonight."
"Ohhhhh, that's right," she says while doing hand gestures in my direction then goes back into her conversation with the receptionist.
Oh hell nah.
"Is that alright with you, Miss. Dana'i?" I pressed.

I could feel the receptionist slip her eyes in my direction. Dana'i almost looked offended that I was either still talking to her, that I ruined her story or that I called her "Miss". Who knows.

"Yeah," she replies reluctantly.
"Good," I say and before I walk off I drop paper work on the receptionist's desk.
"Could you mail these out for me, Miss. Triana," I said to her with a smile.

I couldn't read the expression on her face but I definitely caught her approval or respect.

Brie walked into my office a little while after I got back to my desk. She puts something on my desk.
"More permission slips," she says.

I look through them hoping this is all of them; I don't want to see anymore permission slips. I could tell these were teenagers taking advantage of this trip without hardly coming to the program on a regular basis.

"Thanks."
"Oh and can I take Friday off? I'm going out of town for a friend's baby shower."
"No problem, that's fine."
I liked Brie the most so far. She smiles with relief.
"It used to be like pulling teeth to get the last P.C. to even listen to anyone."
"You ain't got to worry about that anymore," I tell her. "Have you seen Stacey?"
"Umm, I last seen her in the group C room."
I nod.
"Can you send her here?"
"Sure."

I wanted to make sure I met all the staffers. While I waited I turned to my computer and pulled up multiple Excel sheets of all their work schedules. I edited Brie's for Friday.

"Hey."

I turn to the door and see a tall light skin girl with a bad dirty blonde hair dye job.
She actually, kind of, reminded me of Jackie. Which was unpleasant.

"Hi. Stacey?"
She nods.
"Hey, I'm Leslie the new P.C. I passed a message to Brie to let you know if you'll be out then to contact me?"
She nods again.
"Good. I'll just jot that all down for you now," I say while writing.
When I finish I give her my number and email. I look back at my Mac computer screen.
"I'm going off of the schedule that was already set this week before I accepted the job. I won't start making schedules until, for, next week but you're still good for Monday through Friday right?"
She thinks for a second.
"Yeah, that's fine."
"Okay. And can you let the other staff members know that we'll be having a meeting on Thursday, that's when I should have the set schedules done and when we can go over schedule changes."
She nodded again before heading out. She was definitely a shy one, probably a little older than Dana'i.

It was another not so bad day. I don't really have time to interact with the teenagers in my assigned group with all this other work that I'm doing and trying to catch up on. I'm kind of hoping that changes soon. I'd like to get to know the students more.

As I leave the building the first thing I notice is that it's a day like yesterday; the weather is gorgeous and the day still looking early.

The second thing I notice is Jackie.

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