Teenage Fever

Hotel Fun

My mind was telling me to do something, to say something but it was like I was frozen in time.

What did he just say to me?

He was dead serious though. He didn't flinch not once and he was just watching me. I was beyond confused.

"Why would you ask me that?"
Kind of a rhetorical question.
"Because I want to kiss you."
I could only partially make out his face because we were in a badly lit parking lot.
"I-is this why you been acting funny sometimes?"

Looking back on all this time we spent together I couldn't really tell what was just platonic and what wasn't.

"I don't know. Maybe," he shrugs.
"How long...?" I couldn't even finish my sentence, I didn't even try to.
"I don't know."
"What do you mean—"
He wipes his face in frustration.
"Never mind. Just forget I asked."
He moves to the driver side of his car. I stare at him with bewilderment.
"That's not happening. Look, D, I'm just curious. I'm sorry if you were expecting me to just go along—"
"Forget it, Les," he says much quieter before hopping into the car.

We drive back to his place in the most awkward silence ever. Questions were swarming in my mind. It was partly frustrating. But that frustration went back to numbness.
I watch as we drove by the beach. In an alternative world I would have told him to pull over, have us get out and walk the beach. And I wouldn't have minded kissing him there.

It was all I thought about now. And I still wanted to ask about it but Damario just kept walking off or walking out.
I forgot to call Tahj back.

"Are you mad at me?" He asks.
I look from out the window to his face. He looked worried. I reach over and grab his hand.
"No. Why would I be mad at you?"
"I didn't hear from you the other night and you were trying to talk to my dad and I just was an asshole—"
"Stop. It's nothing about you. Something just came up and it's been on my mind but I don't need to be thinking about it."

I wanted for things to go back. Back to Damario being my boy and not this guy who was possibly crushing on me. And for Tahj to be the only guy I thought about instead of me doubting everything.

"You seem way out of it."

Then a thought hits me.

"Let's get a hotel."

With a hotel we could spend more time together and I could use a vacation. I took some things of mines when Damario wasn't around and met back up with Tahj in a pretty nice looking hotel. He offered to help pay.

He bounced on the queen sized bed.
"How long we doing this?" He smiles.
"Probably until Monday morning."
"Sounds like a plan. Now get on top of me."

I look over at him in mild shock. But he didn't have to tell me twice. We spent a good hour just making out. It felt nice to do it on a bed.

As night was coming around I went out and grabbed some bottles of Moscato.
"I'll go get some ice," Tahj says when I come back.

He takes the bucket to fill with ice. While he's gone I briefly check my phone and notice no messages or calls. I don't sweat it though. I turn the TV on. I watch it without really watching it.
If you would have asked me what I watched I wouldn't be able to tell you.
Tahj came back and went to the table to check the bottles.

"These are pretty,"
"Should be good, I've never had them before, though."

Tahj walks over to me and slowly climbs onto my lap. He sits facing me with his legs bent on either side of me. We stare each other deeply in the eyes before I move in and kiss him.

"Seeing you in that suit the other day was sexy as hell," he says against my lips.
"I'm glad you liked that."
I went back to kissing, he wrapped his arms around my neck.
Some time later he pulls back.
"I'm about to take a shower. We should do something tonight."
"No gay clubs," I say with a smile.
He chuckles.
"After last time I'm rethinking about ever going back to those."
"For real, same."
He got up off me and stood over me.
"We could always go downstairs to the restaurant, go on that little date you wanted."
"Finally," I tell him with a roll of the eyes.
"Okay."
He begins walking to the bathroom but stops and slowly faces me.
"You want to take a shower with me?"

I did a slow blink at him.
Say what now?
He just stood there grinning.

"We don't have to... do anything... just shower."

That still meant seeing another guy naked... for the first time. It put me off a little bit but in the end I didn't want to say no.

I watch him strip his shirt off before walking into the bathroom. By the time I finally shoved the nerves aside and made it into the bathroom the water was already going and the bathroom was already steaming up. I could see him standing behind the shower curtain.

"You ever been with another guy?" I ask while I take my own shirt off.
"Yeah. I only have two ex boyfriends."
"That's more than me," I chuckle.

He pulls the shower curtain back enough to reveal his face, wipes his face of water before looking at me with a puzzling look.

"Really?" He smiles.
"Yeah. I spent the last two years with a girlfriend. Before that I had other girlfriends but none that serious."
A new thought comes to me.
"I hope that doesn't bother you."
He squints his eyes at me, the smile still lingering on his face.
"Are you bi?"
I don't know why for a second I felt ashamed by that.
"Yeah," I say after a beat.

The smile leaves his face but he doesn't look angered or disappointed. We stare silently at each other for a few seconds. The only sound being the shower running. I got a chill despite it being very warm in here.

"What do you want?" He finally asks me.

I stare down at the tile floor. I start cracking my knuckles unintentionally. Finally I go for the zipper on my jeans and start unzipping them with a look back over at Tahj.

"You."