Falling Apart

32

Saturday 28 July 2017,

PAST TIME GRAYSON'S DIARY

GRAYSON

For the past few days i have been spending some delightful and pleasant days with Camille and I can't stop myself from getting closer to her each second, every minute we spend together.

I can't believe how am i gonna continue living my life normally without her presence after leaving Norway that's in exactly a month. 

She even thought me some of her famous recipes and was so open with me about her secrets while for me i spent most of the time lying to her about my perfect imaginary vision of my life that i created in my head to seem perfect in front of her.

And to be honest, things have been escalating with us and i wouldn't blame the both of us for it especially that she is an easy going shy person who can't control herself once she is around the ones who she trusts the most and can show her extroverted side.

Although it's been a short amount of time, i can feel myself gaining but also pushing my feelings towards her away.

Right now we were at her apartment who we spent most of our time at and we were having a blanket on our body and watching some movie that she got while flipping channels.

I glanced down at her quickly taking a look at how she looked without makeup and i must admit she looks way better being all natural and what i like about her the most about her face is the freckles scattered across her nose part and a bit on her cheeks. 

She is just a copy of Madeline and it helped in my opinion maybe if i get close to Camille then i will be able to love Madeline again.

It was a toxic mindset that I put, a selfish one too. Then also, I genuinely have a soft spot already for Camille and feel some feelings towards her. She was way too pure and lovely to be around. 

"Stop staring at me." She caught me moving her head away from my shoulder and looking up at me with her arresting eyes.

"I was just wondering if you were awake or not." I said which was a complete lie since I was staring at her, admiring every single detail of her face.

"Well, i am wide awake." She told me resting her chin on her palm of her hand.

"Good to know that, i didn't want to watch the movie alone because i enjoy your company." I confessed and she seemed quite flattered by my words. "The feeling is mutual Grayson." She said amazed by her own confidence that was building in her. I couldn't help it at this point with the way she stared at me, she is a freaking goddess and she is not even trying.

So i couldn't and did the only thing that i shouldn't have done and it's pressing my lips against her soft lips and she kissed back and i tugged on her hair that felt soft between my fingers.

"I can't do it." She blurted pulling away from my lips staring down at her fingers fiddling with them in guilt.

"Did something wrong happen?" I asked her nervously placing my hand under her chin and lifting it up for her to face me.

"No, it's just- it's just." She was stumbling over with her words scared to regret what she was about to say. "Grayson you need to leave now."